Michael: DUDE WASSUP? THX 4 DA BALL. IT WIL LOOK GUUD NXT 2 MY 8 GLD MDLS BIOTCH1!

Brady: NO PROB BRO. THX 4 DA PIC OF U N UR SUIT. THIS IS MY TICKT 2 CHAFE CITY!

Michael: DUDE!

Brady: WHY DID U JST TEXT ‘DUDE?’ TO ME? I’M STNDN RITE NXT 2 U GUUBER.

Michael: DUDE! LETS GO SMOKE SUM WEED

Brady: NO WAY DUDE, I COULD LOSE MY SUBWAY NDRSEMNT.

Michael: CUMMON BRO IT WILL BE GUUD SHIT. I GOT ENFRCEMNTS TOO, YA KNOW. PLUS I ACKSHULLY PLAY IN MY SPORT

Brady: CAN’T DO IT BRO. WEED MAKS MEE SLEEEEEEPY

Michael: U R SUCH A PUSSY.

Brady: SHUT UP!

Michael: DUDE HOW HRD CAN IT B 2 PLY QB AT NOTRE DAME??

Brady: IT WUZ HRD OK? I HAD 2 STUDY N B DRUG-FREE

Michael: MORE LIKE FUCK FREE. IZ THAT Y U HAD A HOOKR WITH U ON DRFT DAY?

Brady: SHUT UP!

Michael: IM GUN SMOKE SUM WEED. L8R FOOL.

Brady: hmmmmmm…

Brady: I better go get a haircut.

“So Michael, tell me more about how tight those LZR swimsuits get.”

Thanks to reader I’m Your Huckleberry.