Racist Bandwagon Massholes vs. Omnipresent Obnoxious Yinzers. WHO YA GOT?

Christmas Ape — Fri, 28 Nov 2008 13:00:37 +0000

Two of the NFL’s more hackle-raising fanbases convene at the stadium where it now costs a small fortune to tailgate (it’s gotten so bad even Simmons hates it! Oh heavens!) to renew their recently one-sided rivalry. The rest of the NFL will no doubt be pulling for the meteor, while a game full of postseason implications plays out before thousands of breathless dickheads. So hold your nose while you pick WHO YA GOT?

Contestants

Bored Red Sox fans_____________Steelers fans

Bandwagon established

Six years ago______________1970s

Distinguishing features

Red Sox hat with purposefully worn look, look of unearned accomplishment______Terrible Towel, terrible gut, possible skullet

Epitomized by

Tommy from Quinzee_____________Johnny from Some Other State

Their team winning Sunday?

“NO ONE DENIES THIS”___________”Nice try, jagoff. I ain’t no Anthony Smith”

Favorite player

WELKAH, the Dustin Pedroia of football__________Numbell one smaltest leceivel

Disarming but still kind of annoying YouTube representative based in New York

Fitzy (Coach Omar Epps? That’s gold!)_______________Yinz Luv ‘Da Stillers

Detests above all else

Dahhhhhkies, Yankees______________Bruce Arians, Ravens, Patriots, Ohio

Cranks

Godsmack album__________________Some polka shit

Finishing move

Hijacking truck containing Pats John Lynch jerseys_______Gracelessly taking over road stadia

Kissing Suzy Kolber » meteor is not an option; comet or asteroid maybe

Racist Bandwagon Massholes vs. Omnipresent Obnoxious Yinzers. WHO YA GOT?