When last we left Peter Downer, he was beseeching us to please, for the love of God, let Michael Vick try to earn the MVP award. But we were stubbornly unwilling to listen. Lucky for PK, Michael Vick would not allow Michael Vick to win the MVP award, except for that mind-bendingly perfect throw he made to Brent Celek in quadruple coverage.

What of this week? Does Peter King blow the proverbial lid off the festering sewer that is New York City? Will Matt Ryan answer his question about home cooking? Why don’t NFL uniform regulations allow Michael Vick to wear a cape? Is there anything Peter King can’t absolve Josh McDaniels of doing? Is there a there there? Is the news new? Find out after the jump.

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The Denver Broncos and coach Josh McDaniels were each fined $50,000 by the NFL as a result of a team employee illegally videotaping an opponent’s practice last month. The employee, video operations director, Steve Scarnecchia, has been fired. Both McDaniels and Scarnecchia were employed by the New England Patriots and Bill Belichick when they were heavily penalized for similar infractions in 2007.

The incident happened at a San Francisco 49ers practice on October 30 in London– a day before they defeated Denver 24-16. In other words, unlike his mentor, McDaniels can’t even cheat correctly. Belichick was able to win three Super Bowls through an organized pattern of fraud and deceit. McDaniels, on the other hand, has gotten his ass handed to him by everyone in the division (except the Chiefs).

Several quality match-ups are coming up this afternoon. Here are the early games, rated on the four-star system I created in conjunction with the boys at MIT:

JAC @ NYG ***
PIT @ BUF **
TEN @ HOU **
GB @ ATL ****
CAR @ CLE *
MIN @ WAS **

This rivalry was a lot more entertaining when the Broncos still had Cutlersulker. It also helped when at least one of these teams had a winning record.

The frustrating continued competence of Kyle Orton prevents us from having the two most abstinence friendly quarterbacks in the NFL having a true battle tonight. Tim Tebow did throw his first career touchdown last week in the Broncos ragetrolling of Todd Haley, so that might encourage Josh McDaniels to foolishly try more Tebow passing plays.

The Chargers are without Antonio Gates and Ryan Mathews tonight, but Marmalard does get Malcom Floyd back. Not that it matters all that much, as Rivers and Peyton Manning are squaring off to be the most fluffed quarterbacks in the league this week by dint of succeeding with an array of previously unheard of receivers.

And don’t be a Peter Downer – be sure to check out this morning’s Designed Rush feature.

Such imprecations! When a simple “monkeyfighting” will do. Ryan Clark should get to punch this guy!

Pottymouth must be yet another nasty symptom of the SuperAIDS. The slipped-in swearing is appreciated though, as this might be the high point of what has thus far been three dreadful games.

The Broncos have the opportunity to put themselves three and a half games up on the only other team capable of giving them viable competition for the AFC West crown. But what’s so good about handing a potentially crippling defeat to a division foe without it being augmented by extreme personal rancor? WE WANT PATHOS! You ruined our favorite personal rivalry, McDaniels. THAT WAS YOUR WORST CRIME OF ALL! FATSIS THINKS YOU, SIR, ARE A BOORISH TYRANT!

After all, Jay Cutler was the perfect foil for Philip Rivers; the overwrought sub to Marmalard’s domineering (and abstinent) dom. Now, not only is Cutler removed from the equation, but in his place is the most even-tempered proxy ever. How can anyone, even Rivers, hate the Neckbeard? He’s just a sloppy looking affable drunk (unlike Cutler’s surly drunkeness) who game manages teams to minor success.

It’s just not the same to have Rivers’ nemesis sulking it up in another conference. It’s like making The Joker fight Aquaman. Sure, in the end, one of them still dies, but where’s the dramatic conflict?

“Whatever. I don’t care. Pink binkie is all the friends I need.”

Last year, Josh McDaniels was tasked with making Matt Cassel look like an adequate quarterback, and by employing the daring strategy of exploiting a stacked receiving corps, he was able to accomplish just that. Having done so, it was certainty that some foolish team would be willing to let him run their team into the ground. That team turned out to be the Broncos. As with so many of his other underqualified underlings, Bill Belichick was content to let him out into the world to destroy another franchise’s hopes at competency. But McDaniels has stubbornly flouted the established Belichick disciple model and found a measure of success (or at least taken the credit for the success Mike Nolan’s defense has gotten him). Is McDaniels crazy enough to try to beat his former master. Knowest he nothing of fealty? Anyway, WHO YA GOT?

Fine, fine. We’ve had a enjoyable few months using Josh McDaniels as a comedic punching bag around these parts. But the smug little bastard might actually have the slightest (ever-so-tenuous) grasp on what he’s doing. BUT I STILL WANT TO SMACK THE SMUG OFF HIS FACE AND MAKE THE SMUG SIT ON THE BENCH AND WATCH THE BRONCOS FAIL! Nevertheless, the lesson, as always, is that the Cowboys can out-implode anybody.

[Thanks to commenter Greg Olsen is Making Me Sexist for the tip]

A neckbeard-less Neckbeard made his first appearance in a Broncos uniform Saturday Friday and marked the occasion with three particularly ugly interceptions in one half of action against the 49ers. And Seahawks fans continue lustily salivating over their all-too-easily acquired no. 1 pick in next year’s draft.

/it’s funny because Jay Cutler was only marginally better in his debut with the Bears.