The Broncos have the opportunity to put themselves three and a half games up on the only other team capable of giving them viable competition for the AFC West crown. But what’s so good about handing a potentially crippling defeat to a division foe without it being augmented by extreme personal rancor? WE WANT PATHOS! You ruined our favorite personal rivalry, McDaniels. THAT WAS YOUR WORST CRIME OF ALL! FATSIS THINKS YOU, SIR, ARE A BOORISH TYRANT!

After all, Jay Cutler was the perfect foil for Philip Rivers; the overwrought sub to Marmalard’s domineering (and abstinent) dom. Now, not only is Cutler removed from the equation, but in his place is the most even-tempered proxy ever. How can anyone, even Rivers, hate the Neckbeard? He’s just a sloppy looking affable drunk (unlike Cutler’s surly drunkeness) who game manages teams to minor success.

It’s just not the same to have Rivers’ nemesis sulking it up in another conference. It’s like making The Joker fight Aquaman. Sure, in the end, one of them still dies, but where’s the dramatic conflict?

“Whatever. I don’t care. Pink binkie is all the friends I need.”

Last year, Josh McDaniels was tasked with making Matt Cassel look like an adequate quarterback, and by employing the daring strategy of exploiting a stacked receiving corps, he was able to accomplish just that. Having done so, it was certainty that some foolish team would be willing to let him run their team into the ground. That team turned out to be the Broncos. As with so many of his other underqualified underlings, Bill Belichick was content to let him out into the world to destroy another franchise’s hopes at competency. But McDaniels has stubbornly flouted the established Belichick disciple model and found a measure of success (or at least taken the credit for the success Mike Nolan’s defense has gotten him). Is McDaniels crazy enough to try to beat his former master. Knowest he nothing of fealty? Anyway, WHO YA GOT?

Fine, fine. We’ve had a enjoyable few months using Josh McDaniels as a comedic punching bag around these parts. But the smug little bastard might actually have the slightest (ever-so-tenuous) grasp on what he’s doing. BUT I STILL WANT TO SMACK THE SMUG OFF HIS FACE AND MAKE THE SMUG SIT ON THE BENCH AND WATCH THE BRONCOS FAIL! Nevertheless, the lesson, as always, is that the Cowboys can out-implode anybody.

[Thanks to commenter Greg Olsen is Making Me Sexist for the tip]

A neckbeard-less Neckbeard made his first appearance in a Broncos uniform Saturday Friday and marked the occasion with three particularly ugly interceptions in one half of action against the 49ers. And Seahawks fans continue lustily salivating over their all-too-easily acquired no. 1 pick in next year’s draft.

/it’s funny because Jay Cutler was only marginally better in his debut with the Bears.