Curse these likable Saints!

You know how I know that New Orleans won’t win the Super Bowl this year? Because it would be way too acceptable to the average viewer. Of all the teams that could possibly contend for a title this year, the Saints are the only one (OTHER THAN MAH STILLERS, A-COURSE!) that I would be perfectly content with them getting a championship.

And the likable team never wins titles. NEVER! Sure, on occasion the MORE likable team will win a Super Bowl (viz. SB XLII) but never an entirely likable one.

Look at ‘em, likable little bastards. Breesus leads the league in likability and skipping passes on water. Even with Jeremy Shockey on the roster, I have a hard time hating them (no small feat). Even knowing a Saints title would force more Archie Manning on my television, I can’t say I would be all that troubled by the overall prospect of it happening. I’ve never had a bad experience with a Saints fan. I mean, I’m sure they’re all raging Cajun dickholes when they get in LSU mode, but for whatever reason, when they don the Saints gear they become halfway tolerable, which is the highest compliment I can pay a fan of a franchise other than my own. Most importantly, of course, the Saints have never won dick, so it’s not like their fans could get all that cocky afterward.

And that’s why the Saints are doomed. DOOMED, I SAY!

Kurt Warner makes his savior-approved return to the prayoffs playoffs, while Matt Ryan makes his debut. I wonder even during a playoff game what the percentage of Cardinals fans will be in the Pink Taco? 55 percent? Expect copious clips of the ‘47 Chicago Cardinals squad.

Kurt better get shine on as the league’s most devout QB in now, because once Tim Tebow comes to town next year, it’s gonna be a messy Lord-off between the two of them for most overt, discomfiting displays of faith. I think the young guy can take him.

And if I can’t have Tramp Stamp Buzzsaw Girl, Face Paint Buzzsaw Girls will serve as a fine proxy. Let it be so!

When I first looked over the schedule a couple months ago, this game stuck out as being the most lackluster of the entire season. And, now that Kansas City has announced its going with Tyler Thigpen as their starter, it’s gotten even lackluster…er. Surely, one could posit a decent argument that the Rams and the Koren Robinson/Keary Colbert-led Seahawks could be just as dismal an affair this week, I’m sticking to my guns and breaking down the matchup that just might make you reassess this funny little obsession you have with breathing.