When we last left java-engulfing oceanic garbage patch Peter King, he used his considerable weight to try and bully restaurant Sibling Rivalry into serving him a more substantive $25 cod dish, and to de-bitter their espresso (We can only hope the coffee was bitter because someone poured Roundup into it). More importantly, King declared that he was “dying to tweet,” and soon made good on his horrible, horrible threat. ‘Tis the Seventh Sign, people. Demi Moore must offer to sacrifice her baby to Jurgen Prochnow, or the clouds will turn to ash and we all shall perish in a giant lava tsunami.

King thanked two people for helping break down all the Byzantine intricacies of setting up a Twitter account. But Jon Pyle over at Pyle of List tells us that even two people weren’t enough.

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