Kissing Suzy Kolber » Labor issues make me want to choke Tila Tequila http://kissingsuzykolber.uproxx.com KSK is a humor site dedicated solely to the NFL. Fri, 10 Feb 2012 19:23:43 +0000 en hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 KSK Kontent Klearinghouse: In Which The Lions Meet Their NFL Heroes http://kissingsuzykolber.uproxx.com/2009/09/ksk-kontent-klearinghouse-in-which-the-lions-meet-their-nfl-heroes.html http://kissingsuzykolber.uproxx.com/2009/09/ksk-kontent-klearinghouse-in-which-the-lions-meet-their-nfl-heroes.html#comments Wed, 09 Sep 2009 17:25:47 +0000 Unsilent Majority http://kissingsuzykolber.uproxx.com/?p=18540

NFL Players Mentor Troubled Detroit Lions

  • And what a treat it was for those lovable losers. One question: is everyone at the Onion Sports Network on speed? Even Leitch had a tough time keeping up with that repartee. In other news, the remaining Lions fans are eager to get this season over with, thus putting them one year closer to locking up the rights to Barry Sanders Jr. Only seven more years of waiting, folks! Of course by then the entire city of Detroit will likely be buried under mountains of rubble. [OSN via Hot Clicks]

  • On Saturday Double J played host to Oklahoma and BYU at Cowboys Stadium, only to see some of the Windows operated scoreboards crap out before kickoff. Just to be careful Jerry is going to launch the video board in Safe Mode before the Cowboys first home game next Sunday. [Seattle PI via reader Kyle]
  • I can’t bring myself to write about the CBA and the possibility of an uncapped season or a potential lockout, mostly because I just don’t give a shit. All I want is for the union and the owners to FIX IT! I don’t really give a fuck about the issues or the specific hangups getting in the way of a new agreement, I just want it FIXED. However if you are looking for something to read on the topic I’ll direct you over to the resurrected Dave’s Football Blog.
  • Ben Roethlisberger’s accuser offered the quarterback a perfectly reasonable way out of this whole nasty rape business. All he has to do is donate some money to charity and apologize. See? Totally reasonable. Oh, and she also wants Ben to admit that he raped her. It’s a standard settlement, really. For some reason Ben’s lawyers rejected this cherry deal, calling it “insulting”, “bizarre”, and “mind-blowingly retarded*”. The accuser hasn’t yet responded to the rejection, however sources close to her diary suggest that the only way she’ll settle now is if Roethlisberger agrees to serve as best man at her batshit crazy wedding to a make-believe soldier while riding down the aisle naked atop a unicorn.

    *Not a direct quote

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