Ugh. These playoffs need to get entertaining in a hurry. That was shaping up to be an entertaining game for about maybe the first three drives. Then ’99 Warner turned into ’05 Warner. Then ’05 Warner got decapitated.

All the while the Reggie Bush, of all people, put on a show. Which means the Brenda Warner reaction shot got swapped out for the goddamn Kim Kardashian reaction smother with Lucille II. You can tell it was bad because I’m writing this recap with seven and a half minutes left to play.

HOWEVAH: we did spot a few tidbits that make hating the otherwise likable Saints a tiny bit easier. To wit:

1. Attendance banners. First sellout season was post-Katrina playoff run? BANDWAGON!

2. “Finish Strong” Just like she polished off that sixth po’ boy.

3. Not only embracing “Who Dat” but having ads that play on it. Also the slogan works better on the above woman better than “Finish Strong”.

4. Charlies Daniels’ GEICO ads are not only ubiquitous, but his Mardi Gras facepaint is retarded.

The NFL is a fraternity! A fraternity of men! Men that do quasi-homosexual things and then pelt outsiders with slurs of disdain! This is the concept of “fraternity” that passed through my string bean of a mind when I saw Steelers defensive back Ike Taylor mutter something to Dolphins quarterback Pat White, who was strapped to a cart being driven off the field at Land Shark Stadium Sunday. So what did Ike say to him? Here are a few good guesses:

“Welcome to the NFL.”

“Do you know Jimmy Buffet? Did he actually invent the dinner buffet?”

“Good thing I started Jim Sorgi in fantasy this week instead of you.”

Yours in the comments.

Thanks to Brandon for the collab. Video via With Leather.

Tom is excused from the sixth rule of Fight Club.

Fresh off his knockout victory over defensive assistant coach Randy Hanson, head coach Tom Cable is eager to make the next step up the coachfight contender ladder. But that doesn’t mean Cable is about to let success go to his head. “Sure, a decisive victory is always great, “ he said, “but I can’t get cocky—this guy [Hanson] is just a low-level assistant; not even a position coach.”

The beefy Cable has been coachfighting for decades, but it wasn’t until he blind-sided the much smaller Hanson that he made a national name for himself. “Like a lot of other coaches, I started out in the underground fights– bare-knuckle brawls in abandoned warehouses against over-the-hill high school coaches.  Winner take all.  In most cases ‘all’ was a can corned beef hash.”

Cable acknowledged that his fight against Hanson was outside typical coachfight protocol where intra-contests fights are typically disfavored.  “What could I do,” Cable asked, his eyes dancing mischievously, “We’re the shitty Raiders.  We can’t beat anyone else.”

But Cable’s days of toiling in obscurity over. “I’m training for my next fight,” Cable said while taking a break from the speedbag to cram a Hostess Ho-Ho® in to his gullet, “It’s against a well known tight ends coach. If I can win that one, then I should be in a line for a title fight against an honest-to-gosh offensive coordinator.”

Despite his meteoric rise, Cable is careful to keep his success in perspective. “Look, I may never be good enough to beat Tom Coughlin—that wiry son-of-a-bitch is the best for a reason.  But with a lot of hard work and a little bit of luck, I know I can knock Rex Ryan’s fat ass out.”

Allow me to join this dogpile of rubbing in it. What a stupendous day of football.

UPDATE: we hear Romo doesn’t just collapse on the field– apparently he does it in the shower too.

[ image: Threadbombing ]

I must say, that had to have been one of the more satisfying Steelers victories since Super Bowl XL. Of course, it would have been nothing without smug, self-satisfied comments by Pats fans leading up to the game, especially those appearing in Pittsburgh publications.

Aw, that’s cute. Too bad Matt Cassel fell about 230 yards short of that 400-yard mark. Oh yeah, and he turned the ball over four times. I’m sure Randy Moss feels vastly disrespected by the footballs that bounced off his hands. But, yeah, he’s still the best there is. Unless the game matters.

For those who didn’t charge off into the night midway through the broadcast intent on killing Tony Kornheiser for invoking Brett Favre’s name after every play, it was merciless offensive onslaught by the Saints, led by Drew Brees and Lance Moore. It was so overwhelming, in fact, even Jeremy Shockey showed flashes of competence. Meanwhile in the KSK live blog world, a furious maelstrom of cheese punnage broke out. The Saints obviously couldn’t get enough scoring, as they were still running trick plays up 20-plus points in the 4th quarter. Still, as bad a night as Aaron Rodgers and The Pack had, it certainly wasn’t as bad as this guy’s.

After the jump is the usual cavalcade of crowd oddities and video of Greg Jennings getting KTFO.

The Packer Pope may have had his way on Monday night at home against Minnesota earlier this year, but he didn’t count on running into Muhammad in the Big Easy.

The inappropriate behavior didn’t end with the sacreligious football figures, however, as Mike McCarthy performed an adroit reach-around on a referee on a challenge of a spot. No wonder he ended up winning it.

And, hey, we finally know what Tatanka and Papa Shango are up to: cheering on the Saints!

And some more assorted wackiness.

Wait a minute. That’s a lacrosse facemask, you asshole. You are awarded no points.

“The guy said something about (Bengals president) Mike Brown. I’m one of the few people who will defend him, which is getting harder to do these days. I said, ‘Yeah, well, at least he’s not selling the team. You guys are going to be the L.A. Steelers.’ And the next thing I remember is waking up in the security office.”

Dude, you took an ass-whipping for defending Mike Brown? Do you think Mike Brown would take a beatdown for you? He’s sitting in one of the sky-boxes at his shiny new stadium with his shitty team and his lame-duck coach while you’re down there getting the living shit stomped out of you by some retard in a Greg Lloyd jersey. Being loyal to a team is irrational; being loyal to an owner who is not signing your paycheck is idiocy. Mike Brown does NOT have your back.

[ via Busted Coverage ]