Another week down, which means it’s time for a KSK mock draft. This time we’re drafting people who deserve to be thrown in federal pound-me-in-the-ass prison. Anyone can be selected, regardless of whether or not they’ve done anything remotely illegal. I’ll let Drew get us started with the feel-good pick of the year after the jump.
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Memes are everywhere on the internet. Some, like our friend Beaker, are endearing and hilarious. Unfortunately a lot of them are grating and obnoxious. That’s why this week we’re drafting memes that we’d banish from the internet forever. Flubby gets us started after the jump.
This week we’re drafting a specific room from the movie of your choosing. Any room that is picked would be magically added to your respective homes. You would have full use/ownership of every physical thing in said room, except for the people (owning people is not chill). Once a particular movie has been selected all other rooms from that movie (or franchise) are off the board. This one was Drew’s idea, so we’ll start with fairly obvious number one choice.
1. Drew – The Bat Cave
Drew didn’t specify a particular movie, so we’ll assume he’s going with the most up-to-date version.
This week we drafted NFL announcers, analysts, and reports that we would banish from television forever. Draftees must be regular on-air talent for FOX, CBS, NBC, NFLN, or ESPN. Ufford leads us off, with the rest coming after the jump. Add your picks in the comments.
1. Caveman – Al Michaels
There is a difference between a movie I’m willing to watch over and over again, and a movie that I think is great or something like that. Just because I think a movie is amazing doesn’t mean I want to see it a hundred times. I thought “There Will Be Blood” was one of the best movies I’ve ever seen. But I don’t think I ever want to see it again. Conversely, I could watch shit like “Blades of Glory” 500 times. And it’s not like I’m picking up new subtleties every time I watch it. It’s “Blades of Glory”. It’s mildly diverting. It just happens to be mildly diverting even if I’m watching it the thousandth time. I think it’s because of that chick in the leather tube top in Ferrell’s sex rehab group. She’s an animal.
Anyway, with that in mind, we dug down and did a draft that centered around this question: If you were only allowed to watch one movie over and over again the rest of your life, what would you pick? The proverbial desert island movies, although screw the island. You get to watch them at home, with a couch and beer and stuff.
The rules: Pick one movie. No picking of entire trilogies or something. And let us also assume you still have free access to all the porn you like, so only REAL movies. Three rounds. The order:
Flubby
Falco
Ape
Caveman
Punter
Maj
Drew
Off we go.
St. Patrick’s Day is less than a week away. It remains, for many people, an invitation to get utterly shitfaced. But the day itself is not without its annoyances. Here’s what we would do if we had the power to make the best drinking weekday a little bit better for everyone.
The premise. You are the head of state in your own city or town, and you have the ability to pass and enforce ONE law that will be in effect for St. Patrick’s day ONLY.
The draft order. Matt. Jack. Josh. Mike. flub. Drew. Falco.
Off we go. Read the rest of this entry »
The great Friday offseason tradition at KSK rears its pus-filled head yet again on this fine site. For those of you new to the program, it’s much like any other mock draft in which you’ve taken part. We, the editors of the site, make our picks. Then you pick. You wait ten picks, and you pick again. It sounds easy, but about 30 of you will screw it up. Read the rest of this entry »
For this week’s KSK mock draft, we started off by imagining we all lost our left hands in a tragic boating accident. GAHHHHHHHH NOOOOOOOOO!!! MY HAND! IT’S GONE! BLOOD! BLOOD EVERYWHERE! SINEW! DANGLING ARTERIES! I’LL NEVER PLAY OUTFIELD AGAIN!
This is Jules Asner. Oooooooh, Jules. Jules used to host “Wild On!” on E!, before Brooke Burke took over the show, followed by Tara Reid running the show into the ground (TARADISE!).
Anyway, the show consisted of Jules looking awesome and partying in the hottest party towns across the globe: Ibiza, Rio, Miami, Akron, and such and such. That was it. That was her job, for which she was no doubt handsomely compensated. I’m not sure there’s a better job in the universe than getting paid to go and have a great time on some production company’s tab. And so, with Jules in mind, we commence this week’s dream job draft.
In our dogged pursuit of things to draft in a mocking fashion, we hit the occasional snag on subjects that are either too knotty for our understanding or beyond our capacity to bicker. This was one of those times.
Our theme this week was laws that you would take off the book. We split hairs over that and it briefly became laws you would add to the books. We then decided this was close to the same thing, so we got frustrated, badmouthed each other and I went out to purchase Resident Evil 5. Therefore, it’s only two rounds of KSK drafting this week, opening the door for even more commenter madness thereafter.
Draft Order:
Maj
Uff
Ape
Drew
Flub
PUNTE
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