It’s been a while since we rolled out new merch on the site, but we’ve finally put together a shirt we’ve been wanting to for some time: one that properly commemorates the sideline assignation that started it all. It’s the ideal apparel for making unwanted advances in very public settings. Preferably while strug-ga-ling.

Ever wanted to buy a KSK t-shirt, only to realize, “Hey, I’m the only asshole who’s gonna get the joke on here!” Well, fear not. For we have devised a line of t-shirts that will not only make you more appealing to the opposite sex, but will also act as a vital mood indicator. For instance, are you drunk?

Now Jerramy Stevens knows he can pull you into the bushes and have his way with you! Or, are you high? Of course you are. No one reads this site while lucid! So make sure your parents are aware with this jazzy number.

Or perhaps you’re feeling romantic. You love KSK, but what you really need is love. Well, this Namath-inspired number will have you locking lips with anonymous drifters in no time!

Yes, KSK Slashies. Simple. Elegant. And ready to accommodate all your future vomit stains. Any t-shirt can make a fashion statement. But what the world really needs is a t-shirt that makes a literal statement about just how aimless and sad your life is! Whee!!!!

And if you have any suggestion for new Slashies, let us hear ‘em.