As you’ve undoubtedly heard by now, conservative talk radio host Rush Limbaugh is putting together a bid to purchase the St. Louis Rams in partnership Dave Checketts. Believe it or not, some people seem to think that this isn’t such a good thing. Countless writers have chimed in with their thoughts on why an overtly racist windbag might not be the best fit for the NFL, and now Reverend Al Sharpton is is on the case. The opinions at KSK are varied as to whether Limbaugh’s bid to become the NFL’s newest owner should be considered, so let’s break this down with a little point/counterpoint. Read the rest of this entry »
Welcome to the Friday Five, our unimaginatively-named Friday afternoon post where we provide you with five things the KSK staff is looking forward to this coming weekend….
Every now and again, we at KSK stumble across something outside the realm of professional football that we feel compelled to share, such as Beaker’s adventures in the nation’s capital. Yesterday, when Unsilent Majority requested a Photoshop of a Nazi-fied Mr. Peanut for the Meast/Least, Christmas Ape obliged with the cheerful anthropomorphized fascist legume you see above. Just look at Nazi Peanut (full name: Stabgsefreiter Johann Erdnuss of the Fuhrer’s Wehrmact) — so dashing, so full of the joie-de-vivre that comes from the extermination of Jews to purify the Fatherland. How can he wear those jackboots and not dance a little jig?
So charmed were we with Herr Peanut that we captured some images of him hangin’ out with his pals, making the Third Reich a happier, more delicious place.
Much has been made of the many eye-opening features at the new Cowboys Stadium, and rightly so. I thought we’d already seen everything the stadium had to offer, and then we were treated to the cage dancers. That development got us wondering what other features Jerry Jones tried to cram into the stadium. After a little bit of digging we managed to come up with a list of proposed stadium features that didn’t make the cut for a variety of reasons.
An arrest has been made in the shooting of Chargers running back Curtis Brinkley. The undrafted rookie was ambushed at an intersection last month in Philadelphia. It seems the jealous shooter has a child with Brinkley’s sister and mistook him for her new boyfriend. Brinkley is expected to make a full recovery, but his NFL future is in jeopardy. Of all the crappy reasons to get shot—because someone thinks you are banging your sister. I’m sure that sort of thing happens all the time in Morgantown, West Virginia, but Brinkley went to school at Syracuse.
Congrats to Tim and Elisabeth Hasselbeck on the birth of their son Isaiah Timothy yesterday. Mother and son are both doing fine. We’re sure the little guy will be under-throwing wide open receivers and screeching against socialized medicine in no time at all.
Drew Brees left training camp after his mother, Mina Brees, passed away Friday while visiting relatives in Denver. Brees and his mother, a successful lawyer in Austin, Texas, had a rocky relationship– which he attributed in part to his decision not to hire her as his agent. Last year, he requested that she quit using his name and image as part of her unsuccessful judicial campaign. Most recently, the elder Brees was under investigation by the Texas Attorney General’s Office for letters sent to numerous restaurant owners, demanding they pay $20,000 or lose their business’ names. I know one restaurant that should definitely have to change its name—the so-called Cheesecake “Factory”. I went there recently and was appalled by the lack of hardhats and eyewash stations. Someone should call OSHA.
Current Bronco and former Jet/Raider/Patriot LaMont Jordan is being sued by the Mirage Casino in Las Vegas for $200,000 in unpaid gambling debts. What did they expect, extending credit to a Terp? Moose, Rocco help LaMont find his checkbook.
Finally, this Bleacher Report post asserts that an active NFL player will come out of the closet this season or next because Twitter and the NFL’s marketing department will make them. Yeah, it doesn’t make much sense to us either.
UPDATE: Peyton, Eli and Fredo Cooper Manning will make a guest appearance on The Simpsons this December. Ape speculates that Cooper will portray a returning Hugo Simpson. Eli has been granted special permission to stay up late to watch the episode, but then it’s straight to bed, young man.
Now that Reggie Bush and Kim Kardashian have parted ways (nobody cheated!…unless they did) the NFL needs a fresh celebrity relationship worthy of tabloid attention. That’s why we at KSK have taken it upon ourselves to create our own pairings out of thin air. Just like the publicists do it!
This afternoon we have another edition of the sporadic “Inside a Tailgate” series. It’s a feature that gives you insight into some of the goings-on with fans around the league. And it gives us a chance to count a YouTube video as a post. Nice.
00:01 – Chubs tells “Reggie Wane” that he will handle the introduction duties. I’ve just seen this guy, but I have always been able to make snap judgments about people. I predict this guy will open his introduction with some Proust before making a dry self-deprecating observation on the human condition. That, or quoting Stone Cold Steve Austin. It could go either way.
0:03 – Hitch up you sweatpants, Bulbous Fett.
0:08 – Waiting for his cue… Biscuits ‘n’ Gravy here is used to working with professionals. Give his ass a countdown, you clod.
0:10 – “HEY! WE’RE COLTS FANS!” This is your brilliant introduction? This is the least expository introduction in the history of introducing stuff. Christ, this thing is already going downhill.
0:16 – Now he introduces Shawne Merriman, “defensive player for the Chargers”. Dude, if we don’t already know who he is, your impression is kind of pointless.
0:20 – This guy seems to shortchanging Merriman’s surname by a full syllable– pronouncing it ‘Merman’. It seems they fear this Mer-Man and thinks he intends to drag them before King Poseidon and his briny palace in Atlantis.
0:24 – Two days later, he moaned and flopped in precisely the same manner when the EMT administered the defibrillator.
0:31 – “RETARD….OUT!” He says it like that’s his end communication signal.
0:36 – At first I thought it was a novelty helmet, merely festooning his head whimsically before the big game. I know realize he is living with a serious head injury and that thing is a medical necessity under doctor’s orders.
As Nashville police try and sort through the sad details of Steve McNair’s murder, various media outlets have stumbled over themselves to get ahead of the story, thus resulting in a rare perfect storm of retarded speculation and braindeadtheories about the circumstances surrounding the star QB’s demise. Well folks, no one covers a major event as poorly as we at KSK do. If you’re going to read speculation about McNair that is clearly false, you deserve only the DUMBEST of theories and predictions. Here now, is some of our very finest non-detective work on the matter.
Reports surfaced today that a Vikings trainer visited the Brittfar feudal land barony on Sunday to suggest to his lordship a regimen of exercises for his recently operated upon shoulder, so that the quarterback may be fine enough physical condition to torpedo the Vikes season by Week 1.
Sometimes we feel like we maybe have maybe a tad too much Favre antipathy on this site. So, concerned that a trainer from a team already fraught with inept quarterback play would only make things worse, we have some other suggestions to get that gun in slinging shape.
Carrying chip on shoulder because deep down he knows Ted Thompson is right.
![[avatar]](http://p.uproxxcdn.com/global/images/default-avatar.jpg){kind=avatar}
