Honestly, most actors in Hollywood play the same character in every movie they’re in, unless you start out with the stigma of sci-fi, and then you only appear So what would happen if we took an original character (not an actor) out of a sci-fi film and dropped him or her into a totally different movie? That might be pretty cool. Or it might be totally stupid. Let’s find out.

You are picking a sci-fi movie character and another genre of film in which to place that character for a new movie. Once a character is selected, you CAN select that character again if you put him or her in a different genre. For example, if someone picks HAL 9000 and “political intrigue”, you may select HAL 9000 and “hard-core porn.” Just don’t split hairs too finely. Or I will cut you.

Our pick is Yoda in a romantic comedy, and why not? Apparently it’s “Talk Like Yoda Day,” whatever that means. Who keeps inventing these random days? And how are they getting any recognition? I put in my petition for “Anally Penetrate Like Kobe Bryant Day” to be held on August 24th (Get it? 8-24?). I’m still waiting to hear back.

Anyway, am I the only one that thinks it was a crime against life everywhere that Yoda didn’t get laid? Were Yoda and Luke’s time on Dagoba some twisted allegory for homosexual cohabitation? Did he have the hots for R2-D2? I want ANSWERS, people!

You are picking a sci-fi movie character and another genre of film in which to place that character for a new movie. You know the rules. It’s time to nerd out.

Welcome to another commenter mock draft. This week you’ll be selecting bands/groups that you would want to resurrect. The idea is to bring them back at the height of their abilities, but an emphasis should be placed on those whose time ran out too soon. We’ll kick things off with a fairly obvious pick, Nirvana. Now remember, the criteria is a bit different than the resurrected celebrity draft (where Cobain went sixth) because you’ll be bringing them back in their prime as opposed to bringing them back at the time of their demise.

Make your picks in the comments, and please wait for 10 people to make their selection before going back to the buffet for seconds, fatty.

We are living in a glorious age of schadenfreude. The reputations of our sporting icons are falling like our stock market in the wake of a typo. So this week we present you with the question, which sports personality’s reputation would you like to see crushed under the weight of scandal? We’ll kick things off with our own honorary selection, the Jesusback. If for no other reason than to watch Shanoff frantically defending his beloved.

Make your picks in the comments, and please wait ten spots before selecting again.

Normally we’d wait until after the draft to switch over from our mock drafts to the commenter mock drafts, but now that the draft is spread over three days we’re going to get an early start. This week you the commenter will be drafting your favorite cover songs of all time. It should be easy enough, so please try to not screw it up by picking Madonna’s American Pie. I’ll get the draft rolling with a ceremonial first pick…

1. KOGOD- All Along the Watchtower by Jimi Hendrix (Bob Dylan*)

*Try to include the original artist if possible.

It’s an obvious choice, and a damn fine one at that. Now it’s your turn, so think carefully, make a pick, wait ten picks before repeating, and for the love of god, NO F*CKING MADONNA!

Comic-Con was a few weeks ago, so this might not be the most topical subject, but no one ever said these drafts had touch on current events anyway, soshutupwhateverleavemealone. The beautiful thing about the event is that it’s a place for geeks to geek out to the fullest extent without fear of being judged (at least too severely). This leads to the only setting other than an IMF protest where you see average folks decked out in overly elaborate costumes. It’s actually cool to see socially backward people to use their creative energy on things that don’t involve stalking.

Therefore, you too will now draft a fictional character’s costume/get-up to wear to Comic-Con. It should probably be something sci-fi, video game or comics related, but we’re willing to relax the rules for other pop culture totems.

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I know a draft where earthly donuts are as sour as poison. You’d spit them out, you would!

When I went to summer camp back in the Great Depression or whenever the hell it was, we were allowed to buy a candy bar after lunch. Just one candy bar. The camp bought in bulk, so you only had a choice between two different bars on any given day. The rotation of the candy bars was completely random, so there was no pattern you could figure out where you knew in advance which candy bars were going to be offered. Oscar winners weren’t as well-protected as the identity of these candy bars.

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I worked as a table runner for a whole lotta weddings in my time. Would you like to know the preferred first dance song of Torrington, CT white trash? It’s “Wonderful Tonight,” by Eric Clapton. I never want to hear that song ever again as long as I live.

I’m now at the age where everyone I know is sick to death of attending weddings. Any single friends I have left better go elope in Vegas, because I’m not spending $1,000 to fly somewhere, sit in a hotel conference room, watch you dance to “At Last,” and do the Electric Slide. It’s just common sense. UNLESS IT’S THE WHELANS’ WEDDING! NO INVITE FOR THE KINGS OF MONTCLAIR, MICHAEL?!

Anyway, this week, it’s the wedding song draft. Pick one song for you and your bride/groom/Japanese manga pillow to have your first dance to. Wait ten picks until picking again. Guess I better pick my actual wedding song.

Can’t go wrong with Otis.

My mom was a contestant on two game shows back in the 1960’s. She was on “Jeopardy!”, in pre-Trebek era. She lost, and was given a full set of the Encyclopedia Americana as a parting gift.

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My TV went out this week. When I called DirecTV to have them come fix it, they told me they did not have access to anyone’s account information, and that I should call back in a day or two. Excuse me? A day? Whole day? What, you people think going without TV for a day is somehow acceptable? TV IS ALL I HAVE, YOU BASTARDS.

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I had five quotes on my gay little yearbook page. Here they are:

So many idiots, so few bullets. –Andrew Dice Clay

Not as edgy as I used to think it was.

90% of everything is crap. –Roger Ebert

Roger Ebert didn’t actually say this quote. Some guy named Theodore Sturgeon did. Up that percentage to 100% when discussing electroclash records.

Do one thing and do it better than anyone –Orville Redenbacher

This is the only one I kinda like.

Random Joe Paterno Quote

I’m not even a Penn State fan. I have no clue why I included this.

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