Posts Tagged ‘kool keith’

Kenton Keith Invokes “Colts Defense,” Bad Grammar

Monday, April 21st, 2008

Colts backup running back Kenton Keith was popped by Indianapolis police for refusing to leave a nightclub parking lot afterhours, despite his noble intentions of updating Heavy Metal Parking Lot for a new generation.

Even more troubling was the wanton disregard of law enforcement to his inviolate privilege of being above standards of normal society because he’s a marginal player on an NFL team. Before there’s law, there’s order. And he’s on a higher order than us. What’s so hard to understand?

“I’m a Colts player! I’m a Colts player!” Keith informed the cops, surely flipping out the FBI-like badge the NFL administers to its players for just such occasions.

This wasn’t some loitering punk on his skateboard. He was a treasured dispenser of sage advice and comforting remarks through his personal web site. Now knowing this once elevated public citizen could very well be prosecuted for the same minor offenses as they will surely keep them from sending him their poorly worded non-sequitors and rambling bullshit.

Before:

Hey, Bro!! Good to see a fellow Benson Bunny, make it bigtime. Run on bro!! My nephew is playing with the Bengals.. Titus Adams.. Look him up if you get a chance. He went to Creighton Prep.. Hey, just wanted to drop a “Hey” and keep it safe bro.. Maybe someday I will see you in a NFL game. Im a College football official now, working hard to be in the show.. IF you ever come to Jacksonville, FL, holla at me. Benson Class of “82″..

Ok cool

Now:

A’yo heard u was in the league……. how’s it that u gots arrested fo hanging outside da club? thought you wuz baller. SHIT i can arrested for lunchin outside da club. fuck yo shoes

Word life.