Last week, in our intensive studies of mysterious Alaskan sea blob Peter King (scientists describe the blob as hairy!), we learned the story of Peter’s desperate race against time to keep his bowels from exploding in mid-air. It was a story rife with suspense and uselessness.

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When we last left buxom donut magnet Peter King, he was preparing to take a monthlong vacation from his strenuous life of walking places, calling people, and eating things.

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