Posts Tagged ‘kill kill kill’

Kill Kill Kill Interlude: Wade Phillips Blowed Up Real Good

Wednesday, November 19th, 2008

It’s another one of those trademark KSK mornings where we simply don’t have our shit together. But fear not. The drunken writing monkeybot is busy scribbling out new dick joke ideas as we speak. In the meantime, LOOK! Wade Phillips done blowed up on a Taiwan street! He blowed up good! Yeah, REAL GOOD!

“More than 100 Tainan city residents, mostly men, have reportedly gone to see the corpse to ‘experience’ the size of its penis,” the newspaper reported.

Those Asian men. Always with the penis envy.

HT: EDSBS.

Leopard Employs Newfangled Crocodile-Collar Tackle

Wednesday, July 23rd, 2008


Here’s a leopard killing a crocodile, filmed in a revolutionary new 2 frames per second format. I heard Werner Herzog loves this new technique. They call it “Retarded Flipbook”. Lars von Trier is going to make a 5-hour rape musical using this film speed, and only using natural light. Shot entirely in a hay loft. I can’t wait to not see it.

An Apropos Edition of Kill Kill Kill

Wednesday, April 30th, 2008

This week’s Kill Kill Kill video happens to tie in quite well with all of the hullabaloo (ha, spelled it right my first try!) going on in the blogosphere after last night’s episode of Costas Now. Watch as the young jungle cat utilizes all of it’s speed, strength, and cunning to fell the cumbersome, prehistoric, beast.

I think it’s safe to say that there’s something wrong with Buzz Bissinger’s medulla oblongata.

Now remember all of you print media types, we aren’t journalists and we aren’t trying to take your jobs. Although if we are provoked, there’s a decent chance we’ll eat you.

Ape’s Firing: A Dramatization

Thursday, April 17th, 2008

In honor of our colleague Christmas Ape, who was released from his day job yesterday for outing himself here on this blog, we present a special Kill Kill Kill video that fully illustrates the Washington Post termination process.

As you can see, the Ivy League trained leopard isn’t content to just kill the poor primate. It must also drag him around in the dirt, in front of fellow Ivies, insulting his dignity in the process. I’m assuming the leopards then went on to play squash after this. Guardians of democracy, my left nut!

KILL! KILL! KILL!It’s Good…To Be…A Florida Gator (most of the time)

Tuesday, April 1st, 2008

Usually the Kill, Kill, Kill features are in video form. However, this picture was too freaking crazy not to post.

Every so often in Florida, a bleary meth-head, in the midst of a fleeting moment of clarity, will realize that his decision to make a pet of a Burmese python was a poor one– and the snake is unceremoniously set loose into the Everglades. When the python crosses paths with some of the indigenous wildlife what ensues can best be described as illegal immigration: reptile style.

The Burmese python tried to swallow its fearsome rival whole but then exploded. The python’s remains were found with the victim’s tail protruding from its burst midsection.

The photo shows the gruesome aftermath. The alligator, in a testament old-fashioned American determination, refused to give up merely because he had been eaten alive– spending his final moments making sure he took the Asian invader with him. The park ranger says that he is aware of four similar encounters– all either won by the gator or like this one, a mortal draw. USA! USA! USA!

This is hardly the first time that a dismembered snake has been used to represent North American nationalism. Benjamin Franklin’s well known political cartoon at the left advocated colonial solidarity. The sentiment draw upon the old myth that a chopped up snake, if left in a bag overnight, would magically reassemble. Kind of like the myth I currently subscribe to about chopped up hookers.

Kill Kill Kill: Bears Celebrate Women’s History Month

Sunday, March 16th, 2008

They can smell menstruation, you know.

The Death Of Merton Hanks – A Kill Kill Kill Post In Two Movements

Thursday, March 13th, 2008

You know, I found this one video where a group of tigers chase down an ostrich, and I quite enjoyed it.

But I felt it needed something more. Sure, I got the vicious ostrich gang tackle, but they cut out just as the feasting began! I need to see a tiger drag the ostrich away by its snapped little neck.

Oh yeah, that’ll do. Just like the song goes, “Don’t whizz on the electric fence!”

Kill Kill Kill: Tony Romo Runs in Vain from the Paparazzi

Wednesday, March 5th, 2008

Two little mice, fell in a bucket of cream. The. First Mouse, quickly gave up, and drowned. The second mouse. Wouldn’t quit. He… struggled, so hard. That eventually, he churned. That cream into butter. And crawled out.

Gentlemen. As of this moment, I am dropping. That. Second mouse? Into. A tank of piranha.



Kill Kill Kill: Why Did the Gazelle Cross the River?

Thursday, February 28th, 2008

Oh no! That petite coed is trying to leave the frat party, but Jerramy Stevens and his friends are there!

This Guy’s a Chubby Chaser

Wednesday, February 27th, 2008

Okay, we’ve had enough of mourning death for one day. Back to celebrating it with this clip of a tiger trying to bag itself a cow. Stop nipping at its legs, tiger, that’s poor tackling form. If it were a horse, Roy Williams would have some useful advice for you.

Anyway, this must be what trying to rape Raven Simone is like.