A roided-up Ufford takes on Ray Lewis.

This week’s draft, obviously inspired by Javon Walker’s incident, is rather simple. You pick one football player, active or retired, who you feel is most deserving of your rage. You see said player on the street, and you unload on him with all the pasty blogger fury you can muster.

I’ll start things off by taking the easy way out. A punter!

Ugh. Nobody in the history of the Redskins has pissed me off more than Matt Turk (except for George Allen and his whole “no black guys” policy, but I wasn’t really alive). He was an average punter, with a propensity for timely game-changing fumbles. But what sets off Redskins fans whenever someone utters the “Turk” name is the broken finger.

You see one day in between games Matt Turk decided to go play some pickup basketball, and because he’s a punter he couldn’t manage to get through said game with all of his bones intact. Turk claimed to have broken his finger at some point in the previous game, he just couldn’t really say when. It was a bold move to blame the injury on football, seeing as how nobody ever touched him. What resulted was a few missed games, including the playoff matchup against the Bucs.

Since Turk was also the team’s holder, that responsibility fell to one Brad Johnson. Needless to say, the game, and the season, ended thusly…

Yeah, and his brother Dan was a shitty snapper too, may he rest in peace.

I swear he would have nailed that 52-yarder.

Make your picks in the comment section, but remember to wait ten picks before selecting again, asshole. Oh, and keep your gloves up.