You must have some really pivotal fantasy starters in this game (they better be on the Eagles) or else we need to look into some kind of live blog addiction intervention for the lot of you. This game will not be good. It will not be entertaining in the least. Don’t say you weren’t warned. I’m only tuning as a sick form of self-abnegation and to see whether Dan Snyder will dispatch his stormtroopers to cudgel the first poor sap dumb enough to stick a sign in front of an ESPN camera that suggests the team should be sold. Six Flags in PG has been an internment camp for such foolhardy fans for the previous three years. Somehow nobody has noticed.

The last time Philly appeared in the playoffs, we got “Fuck Da Eagles” girl. While it’s unlikely that Minnesota has a decent equivalent, we live in hope.

This is likely to be a dazzling spectacle of horrible coaching, one that future Romeos and Marinellis will write length dissertations on during their senior year at the School of Kotite. Seriously, what possessed the NFL to give Philly and Minnesota the marquee time slot of the weekend. This is the least exciting match-up of the bunch. Dicks.

When a former offensive coordinator who can’t coach offense and a head coach with no grasp on clock management get together, it makes you wonder how these two clowns aren’t working for Jim Johnson. It’s their second meeting since Brad Childress took the Vikings job, but now it’s with their seasons on the line (seasons that started with very high hopes, plummeted to the Earth, then still somehow resulted in playoff spots). WHO YA GOT?

So long as it doesn’t give out.

Or you can do it right.

And you don’t spawn this.

And, uh, DeSean is a tard.