Welcome to the Week 4 edition of Always Be Covering. As you may be aware, the bulk of my gambling advice should not actually be taken. For the most part everything you read here will be in jest, but not anymore.

How bout that! Last week I decided to put a modest wager on my 8 favorite games and I ended up making money. I didn’t even know you could do that! So after a 4-2-2 week I’m ready to declare my self a damn expert. With that being said, Always Be Closing will now be classified as “KSK Insider” material. From this point on this content will only be available to dues paying members. If you would like to keep reading we must insist that you mail us a check for five dollars every month.

….

Seriously, send us some fucking money or stop reading right now. Don’t go ruining the honor system for everyone!

Welcome to the new and improved Always Be Closing…After Dark! Where anything can happen…

No, I’m not on peyote…it just seems like it sometimes. Let’s get to the picks.

Oakland +4 at Miami
Anytime the Dolphins are giving more than a field goal count me against them.

Green Bay -3 at Minnesota
Sorry Drew, but White Jesus is still more powerful than Purple Jesus. Frankly I prefer Earl Monroe.

New York Jets -3.5 at Buffalo
I wonder if I’ll regret taking all of these road teams…nah, probably not. I like betting against Buffalo the way hipsters like detachment.

Tampa Bay +3 at Carolina
I’m thrilled to welcome David Carr back into my world. L’chaim!

Pittsburgh -6.5 at Arizona
Another road team? Ralph Waldo Emerson wrote, “traveling is a fool’s paradise,” but then he says “my giant goes with me wherever I go.” If the coaches are showing My Giant on the team bus then you have to figure they’ll be pretty pissed by the time they get to the Pink Taco.

Detroit +3 vs. Chicago
I’d rather shave my balls with a fillet knife than take Griese and the points.

St. Louis +13.5 at Dallas
Uh-oh. I hope Jesus heals Bulger next.

Philadelphia Eagles -3 at New York
Will Donovan McNabb still be able to see Kevin Curtis when he’s dressed in the same colors as the field? Let’s hope so.

New England -6.5 at Cincinnati
The second I heard that Rudi Johnson was ruled out for Monday’s game I jumped all over this one. To be fair, I was going to bet on New England anyways, that’s just good business. But considering the injury I decided to put two and a half times as much money on this one than all of the others.

And now a little (big) something(s) just for fun…

There you have it, now go forth and wager.