Because I live in the podunk ville of New York City, Time Warner is the only cable option I have. DirecTV isn’t available to me, and TWC doesn’t even carry the NFL Network. Unless I go to a sports bar, I get stuck with a Jets-Giants doubleheader every Sunday. I can count on one hand the number of times I’ve had the fortune of experiencing the football-viewing Valhalla that is the RedZone Channel. I ache to watch the RedZone Channel; I walk through autumn feeling less than whole.

On Sunday, I spent most of the day — 11 a.m. on the West Coast until 8 p.m. on East Coast — on a flight from San Francisco to New York because it’s 2011 and BITCHES ARE STILL GETTING MARRIED DURING FOOTBALL SEASON. But it wasn’t so bad: I fly JetBlue, so I had the comforts of live TV — the delightful Pittsburgh-Baltimore ass-stomping on CBS, Philly at St. Louis on Fox, and even some Rugby World Cup on NBC for when both games were in commercials. I had no complaints.

Things slowed down in the afternoon: Giants-Redskins was the only game available, and I didn’t have a fantasy rooting interest on either team. Frankly, it sucked. Unless they’re fumbling and throwing picks, Rex Grossman and Eli Manning are boring in their mediocrity. But then, with ten minutes left in the 4th quarter, I noticed something: the guy across the aisle from me was watching Seahawks-49ers. I tapped him on the shoulder and asked him how he was getting a different game.

“RedZone Channel,” he said. My eyes went wide. “Scroll up into the 30s, it’s there instead of TV Land.”

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First they gave us the glorious RedZone Channel on cable, and now they’re going to beam it directly to our cellphones. The Wall Street Journal is reporting that the NFL intends to launch a mobile version of the channel in time for next season, which would be pretty f*cking awesome for everybody. Everybody except for CBS and Fox that is. Quoth CBS’s Sean McManus, “RedZone hasn’t hurt us yet, but we watch it very closely…” And as soon as it becomes too popular we will STOMP ON ITS NECK UNTIL IT STOPS TWITCHING. So yeah, good news for now, but let’s keep it between us. [WSJ]

When we last left smugtastic manbuoy Peter King, he was busy chastising the entire British Isles for their espresso-making, declaring TJ Houshmandzadeh and Bobby Engram the same player without factoring in the fact that they aren’t, and he had finally gotten a chance to see his beloved Gran Torino WITHOUT HOLLYWOOD BLATANTLY EXTORTING HIM IN A CLEAR CASE OF RACKETEERISH EMBEZZLEMENT.

But before we get to this week’s warm pan of fresh PK brain drool, a quick email sent to us from reader A.G., who writes in…

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