Kissing Suzy Kolber » herschel walker

Herschel Walker Survived Russian Roulette

Monday Morning Punter — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 15:06:29 +0000

But only because the Vikings traded away all the bullets.

Celebrity Super Bowl Pick: Herschel Walker

flubby — Fri, 25 Jan 2008 19:16:00 +0000

The celebrity Super Bowl pick is a time-honored tradition, one we at KSK are super fucking excited to be a part of, as we have in the past. For the next two weeks, stars from the world of entertainment, politics, and more will drop by to make their picks for the big game in the Pink Taco! Up next, college football great turned author Herschel Walker

Football? I’m afraid of I’ve never heard of such a past-time. Is it anything like that rounders game General Doubleday’s men played during their stops on the way to Antietam? As a young man in Illinois, I gained a bit of regional renown as a wrestler, but I know nothing of this game of which you speak.

Now, if you please, I must get back to the business of salving the wounds where our great Union was split in twain. This arduous task is complicated by the well-intended yet nonetheless vexing distractions of the First Lady. She insists upon viewing some bit of nonsense called “Our American Cousin” this evening. Enjoy your “Soup Or Bowl”, as you call it.

Celebrity Super Bowl Pick: Herschel Walker

flubby — Fri, 25 Jan 2008 18:01:00 +0000

Hey chief, you mind if I listen to radio while we drive? I love this Opie and Anthony. Very funny guys, yes? I’m glad you ask me about Superb Bowl. I drive cab for four year now and still very best customer is Mister Michael Strahan. He ride in cab and talk very nice to Zulfo. He ask if Zulfo have wife and ask about Bosnia. Big tipper is Mister Michael Strahan. We are going to LaGuardia, yes?

I see Tum Brady on television, I have men like him in cab every day. They too busy to talk to Zulfo. Talk on their cell phone all the time. They bad tipper. Zulfo does not like them and he does not like Tum Brady. He’s not like Mister Michael Strahan. Zulfo says Patriots win game by many, many points.

KSK Celebrity Super Bowl Pick: Herschel Walker

flubby — Fri, 25 Jan 2008 17:15:00 +0000

The surprise on your face is as plain as the harvest moon in the clear October sky. “Moses Stoltzfus, what do the Amish know of Foot Ball?,” you may ask. During my rumspringa, Brownie Eli and I traveled by the bus to the city called “Dover” to satisfy our boyish curiosity about the English and the ways of their World. There we went to a merchant called Sears & Roebuck to see their collection of whetstones, as my family’s saw had grown quite dull. There I was first introduced to the television and Patriot Foot Ball. The color and noise was simultaneously glorious and sinful! How that bawdy diversion inflamed the humours!

After my return to Hempfield, I could not chase the thoughts of Foot Ball from the corners of my consciousness lo these many years. I tell my dear Rebecca that the newspaper is a necessary worldly intrusion since it holds the schedule for the Farmers’ Markets where we trade our bread for assorted sundries– and verily this is so. But, when alone I pore over the newspaper for news of my beloved Patriots. Were that my team of oxen were as mighty as those known as Koppen and Light.

O, Brother Belichick! How your weatherbeaten visage reminds me that of my dear departed Mother. They say you are dishonest, but I would never shun thee. I eagerly await news of the outcome of this Super Bowl. I predict a Patriot victory and a bumper crop of squash.