It’s probably time to update everyone on our annual Suicide Pool. You know, the one where we can’t seem to get down to a final winner because you guys are just too damn good at this. Anyway, we’re down to 51 players after starting with over 1400, so we may whittle this mofo down yet.

In the meantime, I would like to recognize S. Gaddam, whose Monkey Tricks entry epitomizes what it means to be an American. Good ol’ Gaddam PICKED DETROIT IN WEEK 5. Gaddam, I don’t know if you’re a man or a woman, but you have balls that clank. Email me your mailing address and I’ll send you some P&G products, provided by the Take It To The House program and my Blogger Fantasy League. Hey, DayQuil Fighter Of The NyQuil controls its own destiny. If I win this week, I’m in the playoffs!

As for the rest of you pickers, we’ll recognize more sick picks in the coming weeks, so don’t be afraid to dangle your junk out there for the world to see. Good luck to everyone still in it.

(Monday morning, Jets headquarters)

Mark Sanchez: Hey, Leon!

Leon Washington: Yo.

Sanchez: Who we got on the schedule this week?

Washington: Looks like… New England. Pats coming in.

Sanchez: Oof. The Pats? Damn. They’re tough.

Washington: Yup.

Sanchez: What do you think the game plan’s gonna be?

Washington: Don’t worry about it. Coach Ryan got it taken care of.

Sanchez: Hey, where is Coach Ryan?

(door flies open)

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