As it just so happens, your weekly King eviscerator Drew Magary is unavailable today, so this PK-themed crossword puzzle will have to satisfy you until Drew’s MMQB breakdown drops tomorrow. We’ll post the answers in a few hours.

ACROSS

3. Most humane train
5. You should respect it
10. Land baron
12. Johnny Damon lookalike
13. Criminally melted candy
16. Extraneous urban asset
17. The perfect save
18. Alarming new fashion trend
19. Disturbing trend on I-95

DOWN

1. No room at the Inn?
2. Led NFL in smiles during 2008 season
4. Unknowable science
6. Crime committed by film companies
7. Favre?
8. Chain restaurant with coffee-flavored water
9. Ohio home of Toone P. Wiggins
11. Two wonderful?
14. Moniker for SI scribe Banks
15. Pre-ferred prefix
16. Car part, defined

p.s. Fuck you, Will Shortz.

**clears throat** Ready?  Okay, let’s do this:

• Easter? I hardly know her.
• The Easter boner came early this year.
• This reminds me of Bambi, because I’d like to Thumper.
• Guess what also rose on Easter?
• Looks like she’s smuggling some Easter hams.
• I’d venture down her rabbit hole.
• I’ve got something that can find her hidden eggs.
• Her alfalfa patch appears to be free of hares.
• Call Animal Control… there’s a rabbit bitch on the loose.

And.  We’re.  Spent.  Have a good holiday.  Check back Monday for an appearance from one (or more) of the site’s most beloved KSKharacters.

(Check out the full gallery of women dressed as bunnies over at Gunaxin.)

You have probably heard that this week the NFL will take their next step three dimensional experimentation when they screen the Oakland-San Diego game in a special theater for select broadcasting partners and various tech nerds. Of course this has left many NFL fans who harbor memories of strapping on cheap cardboard “glasses” to catch a glimpse of Kelly Bundy’s sweet sweet tits to ask why the fuck anyone would want their football in 3D. Here at KSK we embrace the forward-thinking automatons in the NFL marketing office and we’ve come up with a list of undeniable advantages to watching the magic in three dimensions.

Laserface IN YOUR FACE!

Raiders in 3D: denial, desperation, dementia.

And now, some photos of what you can expect if you’re lucky enough to be in the special audience…

The Good

The Bad

The Ugly

After the Roy Williams surprise at the Lions’ Halloween party earlier in the week, we didn’t want to be caught on the hop about what other players were doing. Rather wait and be surprised by what characters they showed up as, we sought out trusted informants to ruin for the fun for everybody.

Mike Singletary: Charles Haley
Tony Romo: Pinky
Jessica Simpson: The Brain
Hines Ward: Kung Fu Panda
Terrell Suggs: Boba Fett
Ed Hochuli: Sarah Palin
Jim Zorn: Ned Flanders
Brett and Deanna Favre: Julius and Ethel Rosenberg
Jason Elam: A crime-fighting linebacker with Jesus in his heart
Chad Ochocinco: Chad Johnson (the one who used to be a good football player)
Mike Holmgren: blackface Romeo Crennel
Romeo Crennel: A boulder
Kellen Winslow: Tanaka from Major League II

If you’ve heard more, let us know in the comments.

Emmitt pic from PCB