LaDainian Tomlinson’s Green Goddess starts with Macallan scotch that’s been aged as long as he’s been in the league. Combine that with some melon liqueur and plenty of Sprite to complete the green hue and watered down effect.

Yesterday I received a chat message from the great Spencer Hall, who wanted to share with me a magical cocktail of his own creation. He it calls it The Jamarcus Hustle.

Take a 32 oz Big Gulp cup, fill with crushed ice, and add the following:

• 5 parts vodka
• 3 parts banana liqueur
• Top with whole heavy cream
• Garnish with entire Cinnabon on rim of cup.

Cost: $34 million a glass

It’s both delicious and practical. This got us thinking about other NFL inspired cocktails which you can find after the jump.

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Over the weekend, we were flooded with emails, texts, telegrams, and letters sent via Pony Express that made us aware of Sunday’s New York Times crossword puzzle, which was built around Peter King’s request in his column — the one that is occasionally about football — that he be in a New York Times crossword puzzle. Sigh.

As it just so happens, your weekly King eviscerator Drew Magary is unavailable today, so this PK-themed crossword puzzle will have to satisfy you until Drew’s MMQB breakdown drops tomorrow. We’ll post the answers in a few hours.

ACROSS

3. Most humane train
5. You should respect it
10. Land baron
12. Johnny Damon lookalike
13. Criminally melted candy
16. Extraneous urban asset
17. The perfect save
18. Alarming new fashion trend
19. Disturbing trend on I-95

DOWN

1. No room at the Inn?
2. Led NFL in smiles during 2008 season
4. Unknowable science
6. Crime committed by film companies
7. Favre?
8. Chain restaurant with coffee-flavored water
9. Ohio home of Toone P. Wiggins
11. Two wonderful?
14. Moniker for SI scribe Banks
15. Pre-ferred prefix
16. Car part, defined

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**clears throat** Ready?  Okay, let’s do this:

• Easter? I hardly know her.
• The Easter boner came early this year.
• This reminds me of Bambi, because I’d like to Thumper.
• Guess what also rose on Easter?
• Looks like she’s smuggling some Easter hams.
• I’d venture down her rabbit hole.
• I’ve got something that can find her hidden eggs.
• Her alfalfa patch appears to be free of hares.
• Call Animal Control… there’s a rabbit bitch on the loose.

And.  We’re.  Spent.  Have a good holiday.  Check back Monday for an appearance from one (or more) of the site’s most beloved KSKharacters.

(Check out the full gallery of women dressed as bunnies over at Gunaxin.)

You have probably heard that this week the NFL will take their next step three dimensional experimentation when they screen the Oakland-San Diego game in a special theater for select broadcasting partners and various tech nerds. Of course this has left many NFL fans who harbor memories of strapping on cheap cardboard “glasses” to catch a glimpse of Kelly Bundy’s sweet sweet tits to ask why the fuck anyone would want their football in 3D. Here at KSK we embrace the forward-thinking automatons in the NFL marketing office and we’ve come up with a list of undeniable advantages to watching the magic in three dimensions.

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After the Roy Williams surprise at the Lions’ Halloween party earlier in the week, we didn’t want to be caught on the hop about what other players were doing. Rather wait and be surprised by what characters they showed up as, we sought out trusted informants to ruin for the fun for everybody.

Mike Singletary: Charles Haley
Tony Romo: Pinky
Jessica Simpson: The Brain
Hines Ward: Kung Fu Panda
Terrell Suggs: Boba Fett
Ed Hochuli: Sarah Palin
Jim Zorn: Ned Flanders
Brett and Deanna Favre: Julius and Ethel Rosenberg
Jason Elam: A crime-fighting linebacker with Jesus in his heart
Chad Ochocinco: Chad Johnson (the one who used to be a good football player)
Mike Holmgren: blackface Romeo Crennel
Romeo Crennel: A boulder
Kellen Winslow: Tanaka from Major League II

Chris Mortensen: Jay Glazer
Peyton Manning: Frankenstein’s creature
Eli Manning: Homemade Transformers costume
Sage Rosenfels: Ryu

J.T. O’Sullivan: NO GODDAMN BRITISH POUF THAT’S FOR SURE!
Vince Young: Kurt Cobain
Jay Cutler: Butters
Jason Witten: The Operation guy
Matt Ryan: Slutty nurse
Chad Pennington: Raggedy Andy
Laveranues Coles: Raggedy Ann
Philip Rivers: The Joker

Bernard Pollard: Lawrence Taylor
LenDale White: Grimace
LaDainian Tomlinson: Bunny Lebowski

If you’ve heard more, let us know in the comments.

Emmitt pic from PCB