Ow-uh fackin’ mashed-up mascawt calf tattoos ahhh bettah then your-ah mashed-up mascawt calf tattoos! Wawtch me flex! Hey Scawtty, bring me anothah Twisted Tea!

Thanks to Derrick for the photo.

Is this the coolest fackin’ Hawndah you’ve ever seen or what? LIVE FREE OR FACKIN’ DIE! That’s how we fackin’ roll in Porchmuth, New Hampchahhhhh, ya fackin’ anklegrabbahs! Can you find a tattoo pahhhluh over in Mass? No! Ya gawtta came to ow-uh fackin’ state!

FACK YOU! Welkah fan far life!

Special thanks to reader Barry O, who is very handsome and deserves some sort of coital compensation for his efforts.