Jared Allen wanted to raise money for his charity, Homes for Wounded Warriors, so he did the sensible thing and hosted a golf outing. An extreme golf outing! Or as extreme as you can get without risking a fourth DUI.

Marines berating golfers, slip ‘n slide punishments, and a pig roast at the turn were just a few of the unique touches Allen included in his event. The outing was a success by all accounts, so it stands to reason that there are plans in the works for next year’s outing. That’s why we’ve compiled a handy list of suggestions to make sure the money keeps rolling in for these deserving soldiers.

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Nike Golf yesterday debuted this unsettling and cynically timed ad featuring a recording of the late Earl Woods speaking a few vaguely relevant questions about learning from mistakes while Tiger is filmed in black and white blinking. As with anything this ripe for parody, the wags set to work applying every wry twist and vulgar reference at their disposal. We applaud their efforts, however irrelevant to football they may be.

Jimmy Kimmel was the first to strike. You know Bill Simmons isn’t still writing for this show because Mr. Miyagi wasn’t worked in to their spoof.

Hey, wouldn’t it be great if Tiger talked to Tiger while the listening Tiger blinked? Blinked hugely and quickly?

And lookie here! Even I made one! I am a very topical maker of jokes!

Oh man! Slate totally did one of those Coors Light press conference wiseacre things! They went there, Home School! It might be a tired concept, but not as tired as you think!

Never ever play golf with Colt Brennan. The third string quarterback spent four holes on the phone, probably asking COOCH Zorn for some playing time on SUNDEES. [Chris Cooley via Mr. I]