Kissing Suzy Kolber » giant snatch http://kissingsuzykolber.uproxx.com KSK is a humor site dedicated solely to the NFL. Thu, 09 Feb 2012 21:45:44 +0000 en hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 Let Us Pause to Remember the Giant Snatch http://kissingsuzykolber.uproxx.com/2011/11/let-us-pause-to-remember-the-giant-snatch.html http://kissingsuzykolber.uproxx.com/2011/11/let-us-pause-to-remember-the-giant-snatch.html#comments Sun, 06 Nov 2011 21:05:56 +0000 Captain Caveman http://kissingsuzykolber.uproxx.com/?p=41077

There can be only one.

O HAI GUYS, remember Super Bowl XLII? Feels like ESPN has hardly made any mention of it.

Anyhoo, the marquee game for the late open thread is the matchup between the Giants and Patriots, who face off for the first time since Eli Manning and David Tyree proved the existence of God. Here’s the full slate:

Denver @ Oakland ★
Cincinnati @ Tennessee ★
NY Giants @ New England ★★★★
Green Bay @ San Diego ★★★
St. Louis @ Arizona (*queef*)

]]> http://kissingsuzykolber.uproxx.com/2011/11/let-us-pause-to-remember-the-giant-snatch.html/feed 524 Giants, Raiders remember 2007 season in style http://kissingsuzykolber.uproxx.com/2008/05/giants-raider-remember-2007-seasons-in-style.html http://kissingsuzykolber.uproxx.com/2008/05/giants-raider-remember-2007-seasons-in-style.html#comments Fri, 30 May 2008 18:37:00 +0000 flubby http://kissingsuzykolber.uproxx.com/?p=2030
The New York Giants were awarded their Super Bowl Rings last night in a plush ceremony at Tiffany & Co. Meanwhile, a continent away, Oakland Raiders owner Al Davis commemorated his teams’ 2007 campaign my handing out cans of Dinty Moore® Beef Stew. The ritzy Manhattan affair was marked by a regal blue carpet leading to the famed jeweler’s front door. While on the west coast, Raiders owner announced the stew giveaway via an index card thumb-tacked to the bulletin board at the OTAs.

The rings, designed with input from the players, are worth an estimated $25,000 each. Said Eurydice Kleinschmidt, Special Project Coordinator for Tiffany’s, “This isn’t just a Super Bowl victory, it’s a New York Super Bowl victory. Everything has got to be bigger, brighter more exciting.” Davis scored the Dinty Moore for $7.99 per case. Floor Manager Gregg Sekelski of the Fremont Costco explained, “A few cases of the Dinty Moore fell off the forklift today. Some of the cans were dented, so we thought we’d have to throw them away. Fortunately this creepy old guy in old lady’s glasses bought them right up.”

“Winning a championship is great and all. But once you put that ring on your finger, it’s a whole other story,” gushed linebacker Kawika Mitchell. Davis was equally enthusiastic about his prize, “Stew keeps the boys from gettin’ the consumption or hip gout. Silly cabin haystack carburetor.”



]]> http://kissingsuzykolber.uproxx.com/2008/05/giants-raider-remember-2007-seasons-in-style.html/feed 24 The Giant Snatch http://kissingsuzykolber.uproxx.com/2008/02/giant-snatch.html http://kissingsuzykolber.uproxx.com/2008/02/giant-snatch.html#comments Thu, 07 Feb 2008 01:53:00 +0000 Christmas Ape http://kissingsuzykolber.uproxx.com/2008/02/the-giant-snatch.html
Allow Me to Retort’s submission in our Manning-to-Tyree-play naming contest was the overwhelming winner. So enamored are we of The Giant Snatch that we’re dedicating this post to its coinage, hopefully prompting the name to gain cultural currency or at least a high placement on Google.

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