Welcome to another commenter mock draft. This week you’ll be selecting bands/groups that you would want to resurrect. The idea is to bring them back at the height of their abilities, but an emphasis should be placed on those whose time ran out too soon. We’ll kick things off with a fairly obvious pick, Nirvana. Now remember, the criteria is a bit different than the resurrected celebrity draft (where Cobain went sixth) because you’ll be bringing them back in their prime as opposed to bringing them back at the time of their demise.

Make your picks in the comments, and please wait for 10 people to make their selection before going back to the buffet for seconds, fatty.

We are living in a glorious age of schadenfreude. The reputations of our sporting icons are falling like our stock market in the wake of a typo. So this week we present you with the question, which sports personality’s reputation would you like to see crushed under the weight of scandal? We’ll kick things off with our own honorary selection, the Jesusback. If for no other reason than to watch Shanoff frantically defending his beloved.

Make your picks in the comments, and please wait ten spots before selecting again.

Normally we’d wait until after the draft to switch over from our mock drafts to the commenter mock drafts, but now that the draft is spread over three days we’re going to get an early start. This week you the commenter will be drafting your favorite cover songs of all time. It should be easy enough, so please try to not screw it up by picking Madonna’s American Pie. I’ll get the draft rolling with a ceremonial first pick…

1. KOGOD- All Along the Watchtower by Jimi Hendrix (Bob Dylan*)

*Try to include the original artist if possible.

It’s an obvious choice, and a damn fine one at that. Now it’s your turn, so think carefully, make a pick, wait ten picks before repeating, and for the love of god, NO F*CKING MADONNA!

For this week’s draft we’re going to pretend that we are orphans picking out a sitcom family to go live with. Any family featured in any sitcom is eligible, so choose wisely.

Draft order…

1. Punte
2. Ape
3. Drew
4. Flubby
5. Kogod
6. Falco

Note: Ufford was unavailable for today’s draft.

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Today’s short-handed mock draft focuses on the routine tasks we loathe so very much. Each of the four of us who were available picked one task that we could assign to a personal servant for the rest of our lives. The draft order is as follows…

1. Ape
2. Ufford
3. Flubby
4. KOGOD

The results are after the jump. Add your picks in the comments, always waiting ten selections before going again.

Note: Your servant is not allowed to commit felonies on your behalf, so you’ll have to continue doing your own wet work.

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Today we’re drafting books that should be made into movies. For the purposes of the draft we’ll consider any and all book that has never been adapted for the screen. If the title is categorized by IMDB as in pre-production it will be considered off-limits, whereas titles that are merely in development will be fair game. And yes, graphic novels are eligible as well.

The draft order is as follows…

1. Punte
2. Ape
3. Drew
4. UM
5. Uff

Flubby was unable to participate this week due to other obligations, but we’re comfortable in our assumption that he would have drafted A Confederacy of Dunces, Searching for the Sound: My Life with the Grateful Dead, and Tales from the 1980 Louisville Cardinals. Falco was unable to participate this week due to diarrhea. We have absolutely no clue what he would have drafted.

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Pick one star/celebrity who is not a family member that you would choose to raise from the dead. Upon revival, they assume their form from the moment they died, which means you don’t necessarily get them in the prime of their life. You get 10 more years of that person after you raise them up.

Order:

Drew
Ape
Maj
Flubby
Falco
Ufford
Punter

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Modern discourse is littered with references to pop culture, mainly because most of us lead lives devoid of anything but consumption of moronic entertainments. There’s no problem with that, at least as far as we layabout computer ninjas are concerned. We just ask that you stay current with what it is that you’re invoking. To some, it might sound elitist, but really we’re only asking that you not use sayings, quotes and buzzwords that lost their currency ages ago. It doesn’t require that much effort. So, in an attempt to publicly shame help those who still use them, we’ve taken upon ourselves to eliminate the most egregious pop culture references in use today.

Order (serpentine, as always):

Caveman
Drew
flubby
Ape
Maj
PUNTE

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For today’s mock draft we’re selecting scenic destinations within the continental United States. The topic came up when I expressed my opinion that Pebble Beach is the most beautiful place in America. Ufford quickly castigated me for thinking a place best known for its golf course and mansions could be on par with the country’s finest national parks. But what can I say? I’m incredibly shallow and I really like golf.

The idea is simple. You get one day at the geographic location of your choice, equipped with a four wheel drive vehicle and any supplies that will fit therein. Make your picks in the comments, but please wait for ten other commenters to pick before you go back for seconds. Oh, and the first person to take a Hawaiian island gets to wear the Big Daddy Dunce Cap. The draft order is as follows…

1. Flubby
2. Ape
3. Maj
4. Uff
5. Drew
6. Punte

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Grab some weed and a box of Scooby Snacks, because we’re hopping in the Mystery Machine for this week’s draft. The idea is to select the historical mystery that you most want solved once and for all. After that we turn it over to the commenters. Just remember to wait ten picks before selecting again.

The draft order is as follows…

1. Ufford
2. Flubby
3. Drew
4. Punte [Ed. note: Punte was unable to participate.]
5. Kogod
6. Ape

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