I liked Yogi the Bear when I was a kid. He ate other people’s food at will, he scored choice bear tail, he didn’t take any crap from the law, and he wore a tie without pants. So much win.

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Honestly, most actors in Hollywood play the same character in every movie they’re in, unless you start out with the stigma of sci-fi, and then you only appear So what would happen if we took an original character (not an actor) out of a sci-fi film and dropped him or her into a totally different movie? That might be pretty cool. Or it might be totally stupid. Let’s find out.

You are picking a sci-fi movie character and another genre of film in which to place that character for a new movie. Once a character is selected, you CAN select that character again if you put him or her in a different genre. For example, if someone picks HAL 9000 and “political intrigue”, you may select HAL 9000 and “hard-core porn.” Just don’t split hairs too finely. Or I will cut you.

Our pick is Yoda in a romantic comedy, and why not? Apparently it’s “Talk Like Yoda Day,” whatever that means. Who keeps inventing these random days? And how are they getting any recognition? I put in my petition for “Anally Penetrate Like Kobe Bryant Day” to be held on August 24th (Get it? 8-24?). I’m still waiting to hear back.

Anyway, am I the only one that thinks it was a crime against life everywhere that Yoda didn’t get laid? Were Yoda and Luke’s time on Dagoba some twisted allegory for homosexual cohabitation? Did he have the hots for R2-D2? I want ANSWERS, people!

You are picking a sci-fi movie character and another genre of film in which to place that character for a new movie. You know the rules. It’s time to nerd out.

Welcome to another commenter mock draft. This week you’ll be selecting bands/groups that you would want to resurrect. The idea is to bring them back at the height of their abilities, but an emphasis should be placed on those whose time ran out too soon. We’ll kick things off with a fairly obvious pick, Nirvana. Now remember, the criteria is a bit different than the resurrected celebrity draft (where Cobain went sixth) because you’ll be bringing them back in their prime as opposed to bringing them back at the time of their demise.

Make your picks in the comments, and please wait for 10 people to make their selection before going back to the buffet for seconds, fatty.

We are living in a glorious age of schadenfreude. The reputations of our sporting icons are falling like our stock market in the wake of a typo. So this week we present you with the question, which sports personality’s reputation would you like to see crushed under the weight of scandal? We’ll kick things off with our own honorary selection, the Jesusback. If for no other reason than to watch Shanoff frantically defending his beloved.

Make your picks in the comments, and please wait ten spots before selecting again.

Normally we’d wait until after the draft to switch over from our mock drafts to the commenter mock drafts, but now that the draft is spread over three days we’re going to get an early start. This week you the commenter will be drafting your favorite cover songs of all time. It should be easy enough, so please try to not screw it up by picking Madonna’s American Pie. I’ll get the draft rolling with a ceremonial first pick…

1. KOGOD- All Along the Watchtower by Jimi Hendrix (Bob Dylan*)

*Try to include the original artist if possible.

It’s an obvious choice, and a damn fine one at that. Now it’s your turn, so think carefully, make a pick, wait ten picks before repeating, and for the love of god, NO F*CKING MADONNA!

For this week’s draft we’re going to pretend that we are orphans picking out a sitcom family to go live with. Any family featured in any sitcom is eligible, so choose wisely.

Draft order…

1. Punte
2. Ape
3. Drew
4. Flubby
5. Kogod
6. Falco

Note: Ufford was unavailable for today’s draft.

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Today’s short-handed mock draft focuses on the routine tasks we loathe so very much. Each of the four of us who were available picked one task that we could assign to a personal servant for the rest of our lives. The draft order is as follows…

1. Ape
2. Ufford
3. Flubby
4. KOGOD

The results are after the jump. Add your picks in the comments, always waiting ten selections before going again.

Note: Your servant is not allowed to commit felonies on your behalf, so you’ll have to continue doing your own wet work.

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Today we’re drafting books that should be made into movies. For the purposes of the draft we’ll consider any and all book that has never been adapted for the screen. If the title is categorized by IMDB as in pre-production it will be considered off-limits, whereas titles that are merely in development will be fair game. And yes, graphic novels are eligible as well.

The draft order is as follows…

1. Punte
2. Ape
3. Drew
4. UM
5. Uff

Flubby was unable to participate this week due to other obligations, but we’re comfortable in our assumption that he would have drafted A Confederacy of Dunces, Searching for the Sound: My Life with the Grateful Dead, and Tales from the 1980 Louisville Cardinals. Falco was unable to participate this week due to diarrhea. We have absolutely no clue what he would have drafted.

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Pick one star/celebrity who is not a family member that you would choose to raise from the dead. Upon revival, they assume their form from the moment they died, which means you don’t necessarily get them in the prime of their life. You get 10 more years of that person after you raise them up.

Order:

Drew
Ape
Maj
Flubby
Falco
Ufford
Punter

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Modern discourse is littered with references to pop culture, mainly because most of us lead lives devoid of anything but consumption of moronic entertainments. There’s no problem with that, at least as far as we layabout computer ninjas are concerned. We just ask that you stay current with what it is that you’re invoking. To some, it might sound elitist, but really we’re only asking that you not use sayings, quotes and buzzwords that lost their currency ages ago. It doesn’t require that much effort. So, in an attempt to publicly shame help those who still use them, we’ve taken upon ourselves to eliminate the most egregious pop culture references in use today.

Order (serpentine, as always):

Caveman
Drew
flubby
Ape
Maj
PUNTE

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