With the NFL draft starting in less than a week this will be our final KSK Mock Draft of the offseason. So many memories, you guys. Remember the Simpsons quotes? It resulted in over 600 comments and 5 pluses on Google + which is even more impressive because that represents 80% of all people using Google +.

The good news for you draftniks is that this doesn’t mark the end of your fun. Starting next week we start the commenter drafts. If you have an idea for a draft topic that we haven’t covered, feel free to send it in for consideration. And now, for our last effort. Continue after the jump to watch me screw up yet another draft.

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Today we’re drafting our favorite hot sauces. A good hot sauce has the ability to transform the most ordinary foodstuffs into a fiery mouthgasm of deliciousness.

Everything is up for grabs, as long as it comes in a bottle and burns your insides when you overdo it. The draft order is as follows.

1. Unsilent Majority
2. Captain Caveman
3. Big Daddy Drew
4. Flubby
5. Christmas Ape
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Celebrities are always feuding, but rarely does it develop into the the bloody violence will all crave. If famous people really wanted to entertain us, they’d take their petty squabbling off of Twitter and settle things on Pay Per View where these things belong. Each round we’ll pick a pair of stars to engage in fisticuffs for the world’s viewing pleasure. This week’s draft order is as follows.

1. Flubby
2. Christmas Ape
3. Captain Caveman
4. Big Daddy Drew
5. Unsilent Majority

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With all the news about bounties in the NFL, it’s about time for us to issue some more of our own. Instead of players, we’re drafting anyone else who works in the NFL. That includes coaches, owners, front office types, referees and league officials who we’d like to see bent in half by a vicious hit. The draft order is as follows.

1. Big Daddy Drew
2. Christmas Ape
3. Unsilent Majority
4. Flubby
5. Captain Caveman
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We are drafting current or former teen stars (film/television/music) that you would like to nominate for Celebrity Hunger Games. The goal is to give yourself the best chance at fielding the competition’s lone survivor. We will go two rounds, during which each participant must draft a male and female to take part. Please feel free to do the same in the comments.

The draft order is as follows.

1. Flubby
2. Unsilent Majority
3. Captain Caveman
4. Christmas Ape
5. Big Daddy Drew

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We’re drafting Playboy Playmates this week, meaning only those who have been named Playmate of the Month are eligible. Sorry, Madonna.

The idea is similar to SI Swimsuit draft. The idea is to create your ideal issue using only the three women you select.

The KSK draft order is as follows…

1. Flubby
2. Captain Caveman
3. Big Daddy Drew
4. Christmas Ape
5. Unsilent Majority

After our 15 picks there will be something like 600 other playmates to choose from in the comment section.

WARNING: Assume that all hyperlinks are NSFW, because most of them are.

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It’s not uncommon for a megalomaniac celebrity to announce their intention to run for the White House. It is rare, however, for it to be a celebrity whose candidacy would be enjoyable to us, either because we legitimately like the person or anticipate the spectacle that would attend their run. Nope, instead it’s the Donald Trumps and Roseanne Barrs of the world. That’s because, as is the case with NFL head coaches, you have to be at least somewhat of a sh*thead to run for high office. This week, we draft celebrity presidential runs that we’d like to see.

Brief note: Kogod is on vacation this week, so we autodrafted Oprah & Gwyneth Paltrow for him. We’re sure he’ll thank us later.

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This week we’re drafting animals that have achieved fame through the internet. For the purposes of the draft age will be of no concern, so a dead cat that plays the keyboard is fair game. Continue after the jump for two rounds of KSK picks, then make your own in the comment section.

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Welcome to the first mock draft of the 2012 off-season. Once again we’ll be holding a weekly mock draft each Friday between now and the actual NFL draft during April’s final week. Now if you’re new to the site you should probably know that these mock drafts have absolutely nothing to do with football. Real mock drafts are worthless, so we do this to pass the time instead. Feeling left out? Worry not, you can play along in the comment section. Plus, during the time between the draft and the Hall of Fame Game we’ll be holding similar weekly drafts for the commenters.

This week’s draft will be a three-round affair, with sugary cereals up for grabs. Save your Kix and Cheerios for another week, this one is just for sugar bombs. Cereals will need to have a minimum of 9 grams of sugar per 3/4 cup serving* to qualify (check stats here if you are unsure). The cereals do not have to be currently available, so all of your childhood favorites that were banned by the FDA are fair game.

*I call this the Honey Nut Cheerios standard.

The draft order is as follows.

1. Captain Caveman
2. Ape
3. Big Daddy Drew
4. Unsilent Majority
5. Flubby
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Today’s draft is inspired by the fantastic bit of nostalgia seen above (via Flubby). Your task is to select one athlete and one (real) product that you would combine to create the perfect celebrity endorsement. Once an athlete or product is selected they are off the table for good.

I’ll get things started with the Albert Haynesworth Drive ‘n Grill. It’s like a Foreman Grill with the increased probability of Cornballeresque burns.