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	<title>Kissing Suzy Kolber &#187; fucking jewlery ads</title>
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		<title>Open Legs by Jane Seymour</title>
		<link>http://kissingsuzykolber.uproxx.com/2009/02/open-legs-by-jane-seymour.html</link>
		<comments>http://kissingsuzykolber.uproxx.com/2009/02/open-legs-by-jane-seymour.html#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 09 Feb 2009 14:57:09 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Christmas Ape</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Uncategorized]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[fucking jewlery ads]]></category>
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		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://kissingsuzykolber.uproxx.com/?p=11643</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[[Tinkly piano bullshit] My mother used to say always keep your legs open It&#8217;s the only way to give and receive love But sometimes you have to jam those legs [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><strong>[Tinkly piano bullshit]</strong></p>
<p><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d7tEGPUSt8Y">My mother used to say</a> always keep your legs open</p>
<p><center><a href="http://cdn.ksk.uproxx.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/02/seymour.jpg"><img src="http://cdn.ksk.uproxx.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/02/seymour.jpg" alt="" title="seymour" width="496" height="303" class="alignnone size-full wp-image-11644" /></a></center></p>
<p>It&#8217;s the only way to give and receive love</p>
<p><center><a href="http://cdn.ksk.uproxx.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/02/seymour2.jpg"><img src="http://cdn.ksk.uproxx.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/02/seymour2.jpg" alt="" title="seymour2" width="474" height="305" class="alignnone size-full wp-image-11645" /></a></center></p>
<p>But sometimes you have to jam those legs shut to get the chintzy jewelry you want for Valentine&#8217;s Day.</p>
<p><center><a href="http://cdn.ksk.uproxx.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/02/seymour3.jpg"><img src="http://cdn.ksk.uproxx.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/02/seymour3.jpg" alt="" title="seymour3" width="476" height="304" class="alignnone size-full wp-image-11646" /></a></center></p>
<p>That&#8217;s the inspiration behind my Open Legs collection at Kay Jewelers </p>
<p><center><a href="http://cdn.ksk.uproxx.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/02/seymour4.jpg"><img src="http://cdn.ksk.uproxx.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/02/seymour4.jpg" alt="" title="seymour4" width="480" height="352" class="alignnone size-full wp-image-11647" /></a></center></p>
<p>I worked with Kay because it&#8217;s a chain of mall jewelers and only they would carry something so tacky that will appeal to high school juniors buying trinkets for their fuck buddies</p>
<p><center><a href="http://cdn.ksk.uproxx.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/02/seymour5.jpg"><img src="http://cdn.ksk.uproxx.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/02/seymour5.jpg" alt="" title="seymour5" width="476" height="302" class="alignnone size-full wp-image-11648" /></a></center></p>
<p>My hope is that my Open Legs design becomes a universal symbol of relationship prostitution and lowered expectations. Because I&#8217;m a narcissistic cunt who thinks a doodle I made in five minutes can capture the imaginations of billions. </p>
<p><center><a href="http://cdn.ksk.uproxx.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/02/seymour6.jpg"><img src="http://cdn.ksk.uproxx.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/02/seymour6.jpg" alt="" title="seymour6" width="475" height="302" class="alignnone size-full wp-image-11649" /></a></center></p>
<p>Because when your legs are open, love will always find its way in.</p>
<p><center><a href="http://cdn.ksk.uproxx.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/02/seymour7.jpg"><img src="http://cdn.ksk.uproxx.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/02/seymour7.jpg" alt="" title="seymour7" width="479" height="300" class="alignnone size-full wp-image-11650" /></a></center></p>
<p><strong>[Annoying sound signature]</strong></p>
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