<?xml version="1.0" encoding="UTF-8"?>
<rss version="2.0"
	xmlns:content="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/modules/content/"
	xmlns:wfw="http://wellformedweb.org/CommentAPI/"
	xmlns:dc="http://purl.org/dc/elements/1.1/"
	xmlns:atom="http://www.w3.org/2005/Atom"
	xmlns:sy="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/modules/syndication/"
	xmlns:slash="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/modules/slash/"
	>

<channel>
	<title>Kissing Suzy Kolber &#187; fuck you bill simmons choke on my dick</title>
	<atom:link href="http://kissingsuzykolber.uproxx.com/tag/fuck-you-bill-simmons-choke-on-my-dick/feed" rel="self" type="application/rss+xml" />
	<link>http://kissingsuzykolber.uproxx.com</link>
	<description>KSK is a humor site dedicated solely to the NFL.</description>
	<lastBuildDate>Fri, 10 Feb 2012 19:23:43 +0000</lastBuildDate>
	<language>en</language>
	<sy:updatePeriod>hourly</sy:updatePeriod>
	<sy:updateFrequency>1</sy:updateFrequency>
	<generator>http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1</generator>
		<item>
		<title>Simmons Pretends Like He Learned His Lesson, Tries Not to Jinx Pats</title>
		<link>http://kissingsuzykolber.uproxx.com/2008/09/simmons-pretends-like-he-learned-his-lesson-tries-not-to-jinx-pats.html</link>
		<comments>http://kissingsuzykolber.uproxx.com/2008/09/simmons-pretends-like-he-learned-his-lesson-tries-not-to-jinx-pats.html#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 04 Sep 2008 19:28:17 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Christmas Ape</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Uncategorized]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[drew ain't thrilled about picking the vikes to miss the playoffs]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[fuck you bill simmons choke on my dick]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[the old enemies are back too]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[xmas ape]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://kissingsuzykolber.uproxx.com/?p=3839</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[A huge KSK leitmotif from last year was sharing our anguish about the insufferable, unending homerism that spewed forth from Bill Simmons weekly during the Pats historic road to the [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><center><a href="http://cdn.ksk.uproxx.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/09/simmonspats.jpg"><img src="http://cdn.ksk.uproxx.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/09/simmonspats.jpg" alt="" title="simmonspats" width="500" height="449" class="alignnone size-full wp-image-3842" /></a></center></p>
<p>A huge <a href="http://kissingsuzykolber.uproxx.com/2007/11/effective-immediately-bounty-on-bill.html">KSK leitmotif from last year</a> was sharing our anguish about the insufferable, unending homerism that spewed forth from Bill Simmons weekly during the Pats historic road to the bed in which they shit out five months worth of discharge that Belichick kept hermetically sealed in their buttholes. Exulting in the comeuppance of his wanton hubris was probably the most fun his column has been in years.</p>
<p>Though <a href="http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page2/story?page=simmons/080904">he&#8217;s not done being a douche</a> (&#8220;The Pats are no fun if I don&#8217;t think they&#8217;re gonna win a title. I&#8217;d rather talk about the Red Sox and the Celtics, preferably the &#8217;86 vintage&#8221;) he&#8217;s at least taking a humbler tack out of the gate (despite detailing how every team that has won a title since the Pats last one in &#8217;04 has been the beneficiary of inordinate amounts of luck. [Tuck rule reference goes here]). Therefore, he&#8217;s knocking the Pats all the way down to conference runners-up, presumably hoping this will gin up some positive karma for his team and he won&#8217;t have to sell any more &#8220;cursed&#8221; black player jerseys on eBay. Will this modesty hold firm? Almost certainly not. </p>
<p>Just in case, the bounty on his hands is set at $10. Do what you must.</p>
<p>We&#8217;re not taking any chances here people.</p>
]]></content:encoded>
			<wfw:commentRss>http://kissingsuzykolber.uproxx.com/2008/09/simmons-pretends-like-he-learned-his-lesson-tries-not-to-jinx-pats.html/feed</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>16</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>The KSK Guide to Insufferable, F&#8211;kface, S&#8211;thead, LOSER Patriots Fans</title>
		<link>http://kissingsuzykolber.uproxx.com/2008/02/ksk-guide-to-insufferable-f-kface-s.html</link>
		<comments>http://kissingsuzykolber.uproxx.com/2008/02/ksk-guide-to-insufferable-f-kface-s.html#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 04 Feb 2008 03:16:00 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Christmas Ape</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[fuck you bill simmons choke on my dick]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[fuck you robert]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[fuck you supermike]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[LOSERGATE]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[the biggest CHOKERS OF ALL TIME]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[xmas ape]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://kissingsuzykolber.uproxx.com/2008/02/the-ksk-guide-to-insufferable-f-kface-s-thead-loser-patriots-fans.html</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[NEW YORK GIANTS 2/3/2008: NOW I SHOW YOU SOME TRICK OR TWOBill Simmons 11/9 For better or worse, that&#8217;s our mantra for the 2007 season. After the legitimacy of the [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><span style=""><span style="font-weight: bold;font-size:130%;" ><br />NEW YORK GIANTS 2/3/2008: NOW I SHOW YOU SOME TRICK OR TWO<center><object height="355" width="425"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/Jm9_47WHGlo&amp;rel=1"><param name="wmode" value="transparent"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/Jm9_47WHGlo&amp;rel=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" height="355" width="425"></embed></object></center><br /></span><span style="font-size:100%;"><a href="http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page2/story?page=simmons/071109&amp;sportCat=nfl">Bill Simmons</a> 11/9</p>
<p>For better or worse, that&#8217;s our mantra for the 2007 season. After the legitimacy of the three Super Bowl titles was questioned, there was only one response: 19-0. The players keep saying they&#8217;re taking it one game at a time; I say they&#8217;re full of crap. They want to join the &#8217;72 Dolphins and destroy everyone along the way. Why? Because bleep everybody, that&#8217;s why. After Welker clinched the Colts game with a crucial first-down catch, he defiantly hopped up and screamed at the poor cornerback covering him, &#8220;YOU F&#8212;&#8212; SUCK!&#8221; Unquestionably, it was the defining play of the season &#8212; not just that the Patriots converted the exact same situation that killed them last January (when they could have clinched a Super Bowl trip with one more completion on third-and-short), but that Welker displayed such arrogant disdain after finishing the Colts off.</p>
<p>Only two years ago, I wrote that the Colts would be crazy for pursuing an undefeated season and risking injuries when the only thing that mattered was a Super Bowl title. Now? I guess I&#8217;m a hypocrite. If you asked any Patriots fan to pick between two doors that determined the rest of the season &#8212; behind Door No. 1, the team would lose once but have a 100 percent chance to win the Super Bowl, and behind Door No. 2, there would be two-in-three chance at a 19-0 season or a one-in-three chance that the team would lose in the playoffs &#8212; a surprising number of fans would roll the dice with that second door. Including me.</p>
<p>BY SUPERMIKE4EVER AT 10/23/07 11:24 AM</p>
<p><span style="font-style: italic;">PREVIOUS SSW</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">Taking out Tom Brady&#8217;s legs is the only way to save this season from certain Pats 19-0 domination.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-style: italic;">NEW SSW</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">Just sit back and try to enjoy it, it&#8217;ll hurt less.</span></p>
<p><strong><a href="http://deadspin.com/commenter/sm4">supermike4ever</a></strong> commented on <a href="http://deadspin.com/sports/notag/don-shula-will-assign-you-an-asterisk-and-you-will-wear-it-319888.php#c2897157">Don Shula Will Assign You An Asterisk And You Will Wear It</a>, at 1:38 PM on Nov 7 <!--[if gte vml 1]><v:shapetype id="_x0000_t75" coordsize="21600,21600" spt="75" preferrelative="t" path="m@4@5l@4@11@9@11@9@5xe" filled="f" stroked="f">  <v:stroke joinstyle="miter">  <v:formulas>   <v:f eqn="if lineDrawn pixelLineWidth 0">   <v:f eqn="sum @0 1 0">   <v:f eqn="sum 0 0 @1">   <v:f eqn="prod @2 1 2">   <v:f eqn="prod @3 21600 pixelWidth">   <v:f eqn="prod @3 21600 pixelHeight">   <v:f eqn="sum @0 0 1">   <v:f eqn="prod @6 1 2">   <v:f eqn="prod @7 21600 pixelWidth">   <v:f eqn="sum @8 21600 0">   <v:f eqn="prod @7 21600 pixelHeight">   <v:f eqn="sum @10 21600 0">  </v:formulas>  <v:path extrusionok="f" gradientshapeok="t" connecttype="rect">  <o:lock ext="edit" aspectratio="t"> </v:shapetype><v:shape id="_x0000_i1025" type="#_x0000_t75" alt="" style="'width:8.25pt;">  <v:imagedata src="file:///C:/DOCUME~1/MICHAE~1.TUN/LOCALS~1/Temp/msoclip1/01/clip_image001.gif" href="http://cache.gawker.com/assets/base.v5/img//ui/icon.comment.gif"> </v:shape><![endif]--><!--[if !vml]--><img src="file:///C:/DOCUME%7E1/MICHAE%7E1.TUN/LOCALS%7E1/Temp/msoclip1/01/clip_image001.gif" shapes="_x0000_i1025" border="0" height="11" width="11" /><!--[endif]--></p>
<p style="font-style: italic;">the Patriots are the best team in football*</p>
<p style="font-style: italic;">-<br />-<br />-<br />* ever</p>
<p><strong><a href="http://deadspin.com/commenter/sm4">supermike4ever</a></strong> commented on <a href="http://deadspin.com/sports/notag/don-shula-will-assign-you-an-asterisk-and-you-will-wear-it-319888.php#c2896365">Don Shula Will Assign You An Asterisk And You Will Wear It</a>, at 1:01 PM on Nov 7 <!--[if gte vml 1]><v:shapetype id="_x0000_t75" coordsize="21600,21600" spt="75" preferrelative="t" path="m@4@5l@4@11@9@11@9@5xe" filled="f" stroked="f">  <v:stroke joinstyle="miter">  <v:formulas>   <v:f eqn="if lineDrawn pixelLineWidth 0">   <v:f eqn="sum @0 1 0">   <v:f eqn="sum 0 0 @1">   <v:f eqn="prod @2 1 2">   <v:f eqn="prod @3 21600 pixelWidth">   <v:f eqn="prod @3 21600 pixelHeight">   <v:f eqn="sum @0 0 1">   <v:f eqn="prod @6 1 2">   <v:f eqn="prod @7 21600 pixelWidth">   <v:f eqn="sum @8 21600 0">   <v:f eqn="prod @7 21600 pixelHeight">   <v:f eqn="sum @10 21600 0">  </v:formulas>  <v:path extrusionok="f" gradientshapeok="t" connecttype="rect">  <o:lock ext="edit" aspectratio="t"> </v:shapetype><v:shape id="_x0000_i1025" type="#_x0000_t75" alt="" style="'width:8.25pt;">  <v:imagedata src="file:///C:/DOCUME~1/MICHAE~1.TUN/LOCALS~1/Temp/msoclip1/01/clip_image001.gif" href="http://cache.gawker.com/assets/base.v5/img//ui/icon.comment.gif"> </v:shape><![endif]--><!--[if !vml]--><img src="file:///C:/DOCUME%7E1/MICHAE%7E1.TUN/LOCALS%7E1/Temp/msoclip1/01/clip_image001.gif" shapes="_x0000_i1025" border="0" height="11" width="11" /><!--[endif]--></p>
<p>  <span style=""><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;"  >the &#8217;07 patriots would beat the &#8217;72 dolphins by 51.</span><br /></span>
<p><strong><a href="http://deadspin.com/commenter/sm4">supermike4ever</a></strong> commented on <a href="http://idolator.com/tunes/notag/britney-spears-gimme-more-the-video-in-which-our-heroine-takes-to-the-pole-307470.php#c2571953">Britney Spears&#8217; &#8220;Gimme More,&#8221; The Video: In Which Our Heroine Takes To The Pole</a>, at 10:08 AM on Oct 5 <!--[if gte vml 1]><v:shapetype id="_x0000_t75" coordsize="21600,21600" spt="75" preferrelative="t" path="m@4@5l@4@11@9@11@9@5xe" filled="f" stroked="f">  <v:stroke joinstyle="miter">  <v:formulas>   <v:f eqn="if lineDrawn pixelLineWidth 0">   <v:f eqn="sum @0 1 0">   <v:f eqn="sum 0 0 @1">   <v:f eqn="prod @2 1 2">   <v:f eqn="prod @3 21600 pixelWidth">   <v:f eqn="prod @3 21600 pixelHeight">   <v:f eqn="sum @0 0 1">   <v:f eqn="prod @6 1 2">   <v:f eqn="prod @7 21600 pixelWidth">   <v:f eqn="sum @8 21600 0">   <v:f eqn="prod @7 21600 pixelHeight">   <v:f eqn="sum @10 21600 0">  </v:formulas>  <v:path extrusionok="f" gradientshapeok="t" connecttype="rect">  <o:lock ext="edit" aspectratio="t"> </v:shapetype><v:shape id="_x0000_i1025" type="#_x0000_t75" alt="" style="'width:8.25pt;">  <v:imagedata src="file:///C:/DOCUME~1/MICHAE~1.TUN/LOCALS~1/Temp/msoclip1/01/clip_image001.gif" href="http://cache.gawker.com/assets/base.v5/img//ui/icon.comment.gif"> </v:shape><![endif]--><!--[if !vml]--><img src="file:///C:/DOCUME%7E1/MICHAE%7E1.TUN/LOCALS%7E1/Temp/msoclip1/01/clip_image001.gif" shapes="_x0000_i1025" border="0" height="11" width="11" /><!--[endif]--></p>
<p style="font-style: italic;">THIS IS BRITNEY&#8217;S SARGENT PEPPER&#8217;S!!!!!</p>
<p style="font-style: italic;">THIS SONG WILL LIVE IN INFAMY AS THE GREATEST SINGLE MUSICAL COMPOSITION SINCE GARY GLITTERS ROCK AND ROLL 2!!</p>
<p>  <span style=""><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-style: italic;">GREATEST EVERERERERR!!!!!!!</span></p>
<p></span></span><span class="commenter">    BY     <a title="Comments by supermike4ever" href="http://deadspin.com/commenter/sm4/">      SUPERMIKE4EVER     </a>         AT <a href="http://deadspin.com/345150/solving-the-mystery-of-eli-manning#c3727150">01/15/08 06:56 PM</a>  </span>
<p style="font-style: italic;">@<a href="http://deadspin.com/345150/solving-the-mystery-of-eli-manning#c3727068">calmasacucumber</a>: oooooh now you&#8217;re in trouble.</p>
<p style="font-style: italic;">the fact of the matter of fact is this: Brady&#8217;s NUMBERS could NEVER SUGGEST even a FRACTION of the greatness that exists in Brady&#8217;s little finger&#8217;s fingernail&#8217;s hangnail&#8217;s dust particle.</p>
<p style="font-style: italic;">not that Brady has ever gotten a hangnail.</p>
<p><span class="commenter">    BY     <a title="Comments by supermike4ever" href="http://deadspin.com/commenter/sm4/">      SUPERMIKE4EVER     </a>         AT <a href="http://deadspin.com/350060/where-my-team-stands-new-england-patriots#c3942932">04:03 PM</a>  </span>
<p style="font-style: italic;">DoucheGate!</p>
<p style="font-style: italic;">Pats: Best football team ever&#8230;. or best ANYTHING AT ALL ever?</p>
<p><span class="commenter">    BY     <a title="Comments by supermike4ever" href="http://deadspin.com/commenter/sm4/">      SUPERMIKE4EVER     </a>         AT <a href="http://deadspin.com/351988/about-last-night#c4022178">11:45 AM</a>  </span>
<p style="font-style: italic;">Today is going to be a good day.</p>
</p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><a href="http://www.blogger.com/profile/02644223173141631317">Robert</a> said&#8230;</p>
<p style="margin-left: 0.5in;"><span style="font-style: italic;">Let&#8217;s make two things perfectly fucking clear: Nobody can question that the fix was on against NE last Sunday &#8211; it was just too damn obvious. That may be troublesome to those hoping for 19-0 until they realize the only competition left for NE is, well, ummm, nobody, really.</span></p>
<p>  <span style="">11:30 AM, November 10, 2007</p>
<p></span><a href="http://www.blogger.com/profile/05903069320700992281" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Robert</a>  said&#8230;
<p style="font-style: italic;">Grrrrr! The angry n&#8212;er speaks! Oo-Oo</p>
<p>Interesting fact that I&#8217;m sure you will appreciate, ape. Did you know that the ape is considered the smartest non humanoid on earth?</p>
<p>Thought you would like that, you <span class="nfakPe">witless</span> moron.</p>
<p>19-0, baby. Eat those bananas.</p>
<p>It&#8217;s over, you bandwagon Massengill sluts. Let&#8217;s see you print some T-shirts for this shit. The Greatest Choke Job of ALL-TIME. Not like it matters. No one is ever going to let you forget.</span><span style="font-weight: bold;font-size:130%;" ></p>
<p></span></span></p>
]]></content:encoded>
			<wfw:commentRss>http://kissingsuzykolber.uproxx.com/2008/02/ksk-guide-to-insufferable-f-kface-s.html/feed</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>41</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck</title>
		<link>http://kissingsuzykolber.uproxx.com/2007/09/fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck.html</link>
		<comments>http://kissingsuzykolber.uproxx.com/2007/09/fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck.html#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 24 Sep 2007 01:39:00 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Big Daddy Drew</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[fuck you bill simmons choke on my dick]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[i hate my life]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[yes i know the vikings are going 3-13 this year]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://kissingsuzykolber.uproxx.com/2007/09/fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck.html</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[It&#8217;s like being tied to a chair and forced to watch your girlfriend fuck Jimmy Fallon. Fuck. Fuck fuck fuckkity fuck.]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><a href="http://cdn.ksk.uproxx.com/wp-content/uploads/blogger/_3ZJuj_RcIcI/RvcViojXZBI/AAAAAAAAAbs/LrHzAitHpOg/s1600-h/mossx-large.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="http://cdn.ksk.uproxx.com/wp-content/uploads/blogger/_3ZJuj_RcIcI/RvcViojXZBI/AAAAAAAAAbs/LrHzAitHpOg/s320/mossx-large.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5113579586647974930" /></a><br />It&#8217;s like being tied to a chair and forced to watch your girlfriend fuck Jimmy Fallon.</p>
<p>Fuck.  Fuck fuck fuckkity fuck.</p>
]]></content:encoded>
			<wfw:commentRss>http://kissingsuzykolber.uproxx.com/2007/09/fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck.html/feed</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>22</slash:comments>
		</item>
	</channel>
</rss>

<!-- Performance optimized by W3 Total Cache. Learn more: http://www.w3-edge.com/wordpress-plugins/

Page Caching using disk: basic
Database Caching 5/24 queries in 0.037 seconds using disk: basic
Object Caching 334/386 objects using disk: basic
Content Delivery Network via cdn.ksk.uproxx.com

Served from: kissingsuzykolber.uproxx.com @ 2012-02-11 03:35:49 -->
