For those of you who are late getting to the charitable party, the astoundingly generous KSK community raised $8,346 dollars for my participation in Fight Gone Bad IV, which just so happened to be the second-highest total of the 5000 CrossFit athletes who participated, an effort that helped FGB raise over $1 million for the Wounded Warrior Project and Athletes for a Cure. You are all to be commended and rewarded, and the only way that I can reward you is by offering up my sweaty, imperfect being for your satanically cruel scrutiny.
After the jump is my Fight Gone Bad experience in words and pictures, as promised. Be warned: male shirtlessness and vomit ensue.
“Hey, what’s goin’ on? … Me? Oh, not much. Just doing weighted squats with a kettlebell on the beach at sunset. Got some Uggs on ‘cuz it’s kinda cold.”
Well folks, although there’s still another week until Fight Gone Bad, but this post marks the end of our annual KSK Kares Kharity Drive. As I write this, we’ve raised $4,795 towards my goal of $5000, and so far your efforts have put me in 4th place in money raised to benefit the Wounded Warrior Project and Athletes for a Cure. That’s out of thousands and thousands of athletes competing.
If you’d like to help make a final push and help me attain (and exceed) my goal, please donate here. It’d be pretty cool to finish #1 overall and help out some veterans and cancer patients in the process. Otherwise, feel free to enjoy these lovely ladies of CrossFit.
UPDATE on the puking situation: For those of you who are donating only to see pictures of me vomiting, good news: I booted after a 2000-meter row last night. It doesn’t mean I’ll necessarily do it at FGB, but it’s certainly a good sign for you.
We here at KSK are awful people. We sit on our asses watching a violent sport, ingesting fried food and alcohol, and then we devote the rest of our week to telling the meanest, crudest jokes we can think of. We challenge each other to swear in new and inventive ways. We draw on racist stereotypes for cheap laughs and make casual assertions of homosexuality.
We’re all headed straight to hell.
UNLESS! Unless we can use our evil powers for good! That’s right, it’s the third annual KSK Kares Kharity Drive! In 2007, when our little blog was barely a year old, we raised $1565 for Fisher House, which helps the families of wounded and amputee veterans. Last year, even with the economy at its absolute worst, you fine readers went above and beyond and chipped in $2495 for charity.
This year, I, Matt Ufford/Captain Caveman, will participate in Fight Gone Bad, a brutally punishing workout that raises money for the Wounded Warrior Project (raising awareness and providing aid to severely wounded veterans) and Athletes for a Cure (fighting prostate cancer). That’s right: TWO charities! That’s twice the charities to brag about donating to at your next cocktail party!
What exactly does Fight Gone Bad entail? I’m glad you asked. On Saturday, September 26th, I’m going to head over to CrossFit South Brooklyn and perform three five-minute rounds of a sadistic combination of exercises:
Wall-ball: 20-pound medicine ball, 10 ft target.
Sumo deadlift high-pull: 75 pounds
Box Jump: 20″ box
Push-press: 75 pounds
Row
You don’t have any idea what most of that is, do you? Here’s what it looked like last year:
Nice place, right? It’s like working out in a dungeon with windows.
ANYWAY, here’s where you come in. For every thousand dollars donated via my athlete page at FGB, I’ll pay back your kindness by posting one picture of me at FGB in increasing order of humiliation. One thousand dollars and it’ll be me shirtless, which is only mildly embarrassing. Two grand gets you a photo of me making a stupid face and sweating. $3000 and you get me curled up in the fetal position, unwilling and unable to move. Five grand is my goal, and if we hit that you get the money shot: me vomiting into a trash can.*
So please, donate now. I’ve started us off with $50, so we’re already 1% of the way there. The sooner we get to five G’s, the sooner we’ll stop reminding you to please help us support wounded veterans while also fighting cancer. You don’t want the cancer terrorists to win, do you? C’mon, let’s humiliate me for a good cause.
