Much to Smith’s dismay, he did not learn his office was on fire until an unwitting Goodell was already waiting in the lobby. To avoid losing face, Smith attempted to rapidly usher the commissioner from the burning building. On the way out, Goodell espied the conflagration, which Smith– ever the quick thinker– dismissed as the Aurora Borealis. While Goodell was initially somewhat skeptical that the Northern Lights could appear localized entirely within Smith’s Washington D.C. office, he accepted the story and left, noting Smith’s ability to “steam a good ham.”

I’m admittedly a frequent viewer of The Price is Right (though I’ve never masturbated to the show like BDD), as it’s a nicely enjoyable but unremarkable late morning program to have on in the background while whipping up dick jokes on the Internet. Ever since Drew Carey took over hosting duties, however, there has been a profusion of Browns jerseys adorning audience members. Obviously, this is not surprising considering Carey’s connection to the city. But have any of those Brownies fans worn a tapped on Dr. Bummer plate on the back of their jersey, then placed a $69 bid to advance to one of the pricing games? I think not. The obnoxious game show antics advantage has swung decisively in favor of the yinzers.

[PSAMP]