Italian DJ Benny Benassi learned a while ago that if you can stick a pair of tits on it, you can sell it. I think the boost to the global economy and the risks of objectifying women cancel each other out, personally. But anyway, Benassi presented this album of house music, Hypnotica, in 2002. The first single off that album was “Satisfaction.”

Below is the original video for “Satisfaction.” Warning: it’s techno. Or electro house. Fuck, like I could tell the difference. Anyway, you only need to watch the first minute or so to get the idea.

Artistic. Original. Ufford would probably bang that red-head, you know, if he was having an off night. Whatever. But surprise surprise, nobody gave a shit about the video. So what happened? Benassi enrolled at the Tits And Ass Institute. With his newfound knowledge in melding the two worlds of business and poontang, he went back to the drawing board and rolled out this motherfucker:

Goddamn, look at that. The double-entendre. The ass. The adherence to safety standards. I think I just built a treehouse in my pants. Oh, and the song went up to No. 2 on the UK charts, while Benassi couldn’t decide whether to drown in pussy or money. He made some more albums, going back to his own playbook when he released the video for Who’s Your Daddy? (NSFW) in 2006.

The moral of the story is that boobies really do serve a purpose in society, and that purpose is to take stuff that wouldn’t gather our attention by itself and make it totally awesome.