It wasn’t quite the dramatic collapse that made the first meeting between the Giants and the Cowboys so memorably hilarious, but Dallas failed to fall on enough giftwrapped New York fumbles that I barely minded. Romo’s swollen purple sausage fingers threatened to make a game of it in the second half, but Dallas did as Dallas does, which is derp so Dallas-y. The 4th and 1 attempt where the Cowboys rushed to the line to catch the Giants defense off guard only to get stuffed, leaving Romo to spring up pathetically screaming at the referees about the spot? Magnifique.

Amazing too was this, the most Romo of all things. Were there a dictionary that supported GIFs, that would be awesome if somewhat impractical. It’s a hoary cliche to suggest images belong with the definition to certain terms, but let me get all hoary cliche on you because this near desperation fumble ruled as a sack is Romo to all get-out.

[Watches on loop until I lose my job and have my power cut]

NBC felt it necessary to include a swatch of salsa music to coincide immediately with a Victor Cruz touchdown. It makes sense because Cruz whips out the salsa dance with each score and because NBC Sports’ stock in trade is being the worst whenever possible. That NBC had the music ready, not for a slow motion replay going into commercial, but the actual live dance, is a level of contempt for your audience I’m not capable of processing.

Laurent Robinson mocked the salsa following the Cowboys’ second score, but it apparently wasn’t impressive enough for NBC to package it with Savio Vega’s theme music.

Come-Get-Some, Atlanta will in the early game next Sunday. That and the Steelers-Tebow Time tilt will be the two games getting the KSK live blogification treatment in the Wild Card round, seeing as how I work Saturdays and have little other choice. Not that I really to be glued to my computer for the Bengals-Texans mess and the Saints’ inevitable blowout of the Lions.

Besides the chance to see the ol’ Double-J seethe outwardly, I need the Giants to win to make sure the goddamn Redskins won’t be tied for first place in the NFC East. “IT’S OKEE IF DONOVAN THROWS TWO PICKS A GEEM, COOCH, HE’S A WINNER! DEANGELO HALL WAS THE STEAL OF THE LAST FIVE YEARS!”

The Giants have been playing pretty well since getting pantsed in back-to-back weeks by the Colts and the Titans in September. The Cowboys, meanwhile, are in full-on meltdown mode, which delights me to no end, but is somewhat bittersweet since it also means no late-season collapse.

Okay, enough half-hearted analysis. Here’s a big tittied model in a Giants jersey:

Ah. Much better.

[Ignores game entirely so as to watch video on loop for the evening]

And if people didn’t get their rageboner satisfied by the previous post, here’s my Designed Rush feature at SB Nation. Feel free to tear it to shreds over there.

Cutlerf*cker and the Bears defeated the Steelers (THANKS SKIPPY REED!) so he doesn’t really have much reason to sulk, but that doesn’t mean that Cutler can look good even in victory. That’s a decent behind the back helmet save though.

Friendly unsolicited .gif submitter Rafael sent in a few choice oddball moments from yesterday’s action. And we’re all to happy to pass them off as easy post fodder for us. I’ll try to remember that readers sometimes make our lives easier when I’m being bombarded with angry messages during the live blog tonight.

Hiiiiiiiiii guyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!

One of these tards is doing something different.

YEEEEE HAAAAWWWW I’M DOING JUST LIKE THAT BIZ MARKIE SONG! NEXT WEEK I MAKE THE MUSIC WITH MY MOUTH! YOU LAUGH, BUT THERE’S REAL GOLD LODGED IN THESE NOSTRILS! I HAD THEM SURGICALLY INSERTED IN THERE TO KEEP ME FROM GETTING BORED IN MY DOWNTIME!

It takes a special brand of cluelessness to think that on the debut night of your billion dollar stadium that the camera will be off you long enough to go digging up your nose and it not be caught.

[Vid courtesy Sports Rubbish]