From time to time, KSK has reeled in big-name NFL players and analysts to answer questions from fans the world over. Well today, we have a very special guest here with us. It’s Cowboys’ defensive back Pacman, nee Adam, Jones! Onto your questions!

Pacman, what did you think of what Don Imus said about you on the air recently?

-Jimbo, East Plano

Pacman: Man, FUCK Don Imus. Old bag muthaphuckka. Fuck hiz azz. FUCK HIZ AZZ WIT A DIK AN A STIK. Prolly got a dik look like beef jerky. Fuck hiz hat. What he think, he a cowboy? He ain’t no cowboy. Pacman a cowboy. Imus just a horse-azz BITCH. Pacman tak dat horse and smack it on da azz. Gon whip Imus lik he da fuckin’ Black Stallion. Turn hiz azz in2 kung pao and shit. Fuck him and hiz old azz bitch. Cookbook writin’ bitch. Pacman tak dat bitch and giv her da Hoova. Put som shampoo in dat bitch’s platinum hair. FUCK DON IMUS.

Pacman, do you think Tony Romo’s love affair with Jessica Simpson will again distract the team as it tries for a championship?

-Jim Bob, Midland

Pacman: Oooh, Pacman lik dat gurl. Gurl be thick! Pacman do tha drizzle on dat azz. Gurl hum a nice tune when she got a dik in her mouf. Romo know what time it iz. He giv her dat Creamsicle. Ain’t gotta take her down Mexico way fo dat skeet.

Hi, Pacman! Long time Cowboy fan and Laker fan. Have you heard any word recently about Roger Goodell reinstating you?

-Jimmy Bob, Odessa

Pacman: Fuckin’ Orange Whitey fuckin’ wit Pacman. Pacman ain’t down wid it. Pacman been good. Ain’t bitin’ no stripper puzzy on Sundays. Only drankin’ wine. Only smokin’ when I at da hizzay. Orange Whitey dont wanna hear it. He keepin’ Pacman danglin’. Pacman gon tak hiz wife to ChocolateTown fo fukkin’ wit him.

Pacman, I thought you gave up the Pacman name. Shouldn’t we all be calling you Adam?

-Bobby Jim Rob, Arlington

Pacman: It Tuesday! Pacman good on 2sday!

Pacman, how did you get your nickname? Also, would you hook up with Ms. Pacman? She’s kinda hot!

-Robbie Jay Jimmy Bob, Dallas

Pacman: Ooooh, Pacman gon bust Ms. Pacman wide. Gurl give good head if she all head. Pacman hear she give great circle. Gon gobble dat bitch right up. Pacman gon take Ms. Pacman and chomp her dotz. Ain’t no ghostz getting’ ta dat bitch befo Pacman duz. He outrun Blinky fo dat glowin’ pussy.

Pacman, how are you getting along with your new teammates? Between TO, Romo, and the rest, there’s a lotta egos in that locker room!

-Bobby Dingo JayBob, Ft. Worth

Pacman: Ain’t no thang. Pacman ain’t got no hate fo nobody. Pacman all good. Pacman just gon kick back and wait fo Orange Whitey to let Pacman tear dat azz up again. ‘Cause Pacman gon tear dat azz UP. Pacman gon bury it in dat azz. He gon drill some holez. Buleev dat. And he gon drank. You betta buleev he gon drank that drank. Pacman take dat drank and bow da roof off the bitch. He gon make a bitch howl. He gon cork some bitchez. He gon chew dat trim. Put a bitch thru tha wall wif dat dong.

AIN’T NO MUTHAPHUCKKAZ GON BE PHUCKKIN’ WIT PACMAN WHEN HE GIVIN’ DAT BITCH DAT LUV SNORKEL. HE GON MAKE A BITCH CRY FO DAT CHOCOLATE CHARLESTON CHEW. BULEEV DAT.