THIS IS SO STUPID! I CAN’T BELIEVE I HAVE TO GO TO CRUDDY BABYLAND BECAUSE I WAS THE FLIPPIN’ MVP. EVERYBODY KNOWS THAT THE HAPPIEST PLACE ON EARTH IS THE EXIT 76 ANTIQUE MALL IN INDIANA. I CAN’T WAIT TO HIT THAT UP WHEN MOM AND I ARE VISITING PEYTON ON MY BYE WEEK. WHATDYA MEAN WE HAVE THE SAME BYE WEEK?

[throws tantrum]

MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!

[/tantrum]

NO! I’M A BIG MAN NOW, I DON’T NEED MOM.

OH WELL, I GUESS I COULD GO ON SOME RIDES WITH THE BABYSITTER BEFORE THAT FRIGGIN’ PARADE.

WHAT’S THIS KIDDIE RIDE ALL ABOUT? IT LOOKS LIKE IT JUST GOES AROUND IN CIRCLES.

[rides ride]

JEEZ ABBY, THIS IS BORING. IT JUST GOES AROUND AND AROUND OVER AND OVER AGAIN.

[sulks]

WAIT! WAS THAT MICKEY?

OHMYGOD, IT’S MICKEY MOTHERFLIPPIN’ MOUSE IN PERSON AND I’M STUCK UP HERE GOING IN A STUPID CIRCLE!

HEY, WHERE’D HE GO?

OHMYGOD, THERE’S MICKEY!

HEY, WHERE’D HE GO?

OHMYGOD, THERE’S MICKEY!

HEY, WHERE’D HE GO?

OHMYGOD, THERE’S MICKEY!

HEY, WHERE’D HE GO?

[/rides ride]

WHAT THE HECK, WHERE DID HE GO? WHY AM I ALL DIZZY? OH GOD, I’M GONNA SPEW!

[spews in this]

AH CRUD, THIS DAY CAN’T GET ANY WORSE! I’M STUCK AT BABYLAND, MICKEY KEEPS DISAPPEARING, I BLEW CHUNKS ALL OVER THE PLACE, MOISHE IS AT HIS SPA DAY UNTIL DINNER TIME, AND NOW I HAVE TO SIT THROUGH SOME GIRLIE PARADE.

HOLY FREAKIN’ COW, MICKEY’S SITTING RIGHT NEXT TO ME!

OK, PLAY IT COOL BIG E, HE’S JUST ANOTHER CELEBRITY…

[turns to Mickey]

EXCUSE ME, MR. MOUSE, I’M A HUGE FAN OF YOURS AND-

[spews on Mickey]

BEST.DAY.EVER.

[sips from sippy cup]