Friday. It’s a, uh, Sexy Friday. This reminds me of the time, and I shouldn’t even say that, because it happened when I was a Broncos fan, and I’m not a Broncos fan anymore. But this reminds me of the time when my mother hired a housekeeper when I was a kid, and she looked EXACTLY like Maggie Gyllenhaal. She literally looked like Maggie Gyllenhaal! Alright, let’s move on.

Uh, can I get the next slide please?

I never really went to a wedding party before. I mean I went to wedding parties before, but I never went, uh, you know, in a dress. And these ladies, uh, this one in the middle here appears to be wearing a hiney-free underpants. But the interesting thing about that is, Skeets was wearing hiney-free underpants two days ago! Now, I’m not saying that she stole those hiney-free underpants from Skeets, but I’m just saying. She literally stole them from Skeets! Literally! Why wasn’t I notified about this?

Alright, let’s move on. Next slide please?

Can you believe these tassels? It’s like that old Saturday Night Live thing. She’s topless, even though she has something on her top! She’s just literally topless! Why wasn’t I notified about this? Hey, isn’t Obama great?

Here’s Lucy Liu…uh, naked…with a–

–HEY! DOWN IN FRONT, ASSHOLE!

Full gallery at Guanabee.

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