Profiles in fandom: Robert Charles Comer

flubby — Thu, 09 Apr 2009 13:05:13 +0000

True story: In 1987, Robert Charles Comer befriended a fellow camper, then robbed him and shot him in cold blood. The meth-fueled sociopath went to another campsite. Using an EMT badge he stole from the dead man, he persuaded a young couple that he was a drug enforcement agent. After winning their trust, he assaulted and bound the couple. Comer raped the woman repeatedly in front of her boyfriend, then abducted her. Miraculously, she managed to escape after Comer’s truck broke down. He was apprehended the next day.

Months later, an Arizona judge handed down a death sentence while a naked, belligerent Comer sat strapped to a wheelchair, surrounded by armed by deputies. While in prison he developed a nasty habit of trying to stab guards and fellow inmates with crudely-fashioned knives. In 2000, Comer waived his remaining appeals, asking that his punishment be carried out.

In late 2007, Comer was put death by lethal injection. When asked if he had any final words. Comer proclaimed with his final breath, “Go Raiders.”

Clearly, Robert Charles Comer was the least objectionable Raiders fan who ever lived.

[ ClarkProsecutor.org, thanks to reader Dan C. ]

Try to Tackle the Juice and He’ll Cut Your Ass

Unsilent Majority — Tue, 24 Jul 2007 05:00:00 +0000

Remember OJ? He’s back! In ~~pog~~ video game form!

You might have heard about this new game, All-Pro Football 2K8 (that’s gamer language for “Too Kate” — which I assume is a a tender dedication from the game’s programmer to e-lover). It’s the one that couldn’t get licensing from the NFL so they simply created their own fictional franchises and stocked the rosters with former NFL legends. While the game’s cover features such respectable citizens as John Elway, Jerry Rice, and Barry Sanders (very careful to put the white guy in the middle) the real star is on the inside…

(watch it all, the highlight comes at the very end).

Now let’s recap…

You’ve got OJ Simpson in a video game. Fair enough.

You make OJ the star player on a team called The Assassins. Pretty Questionable.

Your mascot for the Assassins is a giant, hooded, knife-wielding maniac who celebrates touchdowns with a stabbing motion? Bellissimo!

I find this intriguing and I believe it’s my duty to expand on the idea. Here are my suggestions for All-Pro Football 2K9 (e-bestiality is not cool!)…

Player
Rae Carruth
Team
The Toofers
Mascot:

Player
Ricky Williams
Team
The Bong Squad
Mascot:

via BreakTaker.com

Player
Mark Chmura
Team
The Predators
Logo:

Players
Jerramy Stevens and Leonard Little*
Team
The Breathalyzerz
Mascot and Logo:

*at least one of them should be out of the league by then.

We welcome your Player/Team/Mascot (and/or logo) suggestions in the comments.

Kissing Suzy Kolber » criminals

Profiles in fandom: Robert Charles Comer

Try to Tackle the Juice and He’ll Cut Your Ass