Sadly, Pictures of Black Jessica Simpson’s Snatch Haven’t Cropped Up Online

04.20.09 Written by Christmas Ape

“We Made You,” Eminem’s first single on his forthcoming album debuted a few weeks ago to an overwhelming chorus of disapproval. It was so lame, in fact, that this spoof about the NFL Draft put together by The Dallas Cowboys Show very easily surpasses it. Poor Em. A few more forced Sarah Palin jokes would’ve really helped it take.

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If T.O. is Uh Distraction, The Jints Are Uh Lock to Win, AM I RIGHT?

12.14.08 Written by Christmas Ape

Courtesy Deadspin Weekend (click it or Maj will throw a Redskins-losing-to-the-Bengals-sized fit) is Cowboy Chris “getting in the head” of Ed Werder for the ESPN reporter’s habit of spreading lying lies that aren’t true about Dallas. Shouldn’t Mort really be the target of that sort of heckling? One day Cowboy Chris will track down the Dallas Deep Throat in an Arlington parking garage (Texas instead of Virginia this time, I guess) and get the answers he wants.

Just as the Giants were poised to be the team in the NFC East to collapse down the stretch thanks to an asinine controversy, the wheels are coming off the ‘Boys bandwagon by virtue of the usual assortment of T.O. backbiting and ineffectual coaching. Not quite as hilarious on its face as Plaxico shooting himself in the leg, but it has a heart-warming familiarity to it, like a chestnut of a holiday song.

But no, say Cowboy fans! It’s all an ESPN-manufactured controversy!

T.O. would never throw one of his own under the bus! Just like Peyton Manning would never cast all the blame on his linemen when the Colts lose. Careful, though, Dallas fans. Here’s what happens when reporters fight back.

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Drinking that Cowboy Kool-Aid

11.07.08 Written by flubby

At least one Dallas fan is convinced that everything is going to be just fine after the Cowboys take a week off. Previously here at KSK, we had associated all things Kool-Aid with Laurence Maroney. But Maroney has been a bust thus far in his career. Even worse (much, much worse): Maroney is a cancer upon my fantasy football season. Construda, my ass.

But for real, if the Cowboys signed DeAngelo Hall they would be right back in the thick of things. Plus you just know Romo is going to be better than ev-…. Damn, now I’m a little thirsty.

[ The Dallas Cowboy Show ]

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Two Dallas Fans Who Are Never Allowed to Mock DeSean Jackson’s Celebortion

09.16.08 Written by Unsilent Majority

If an angry photographer ever puts Stevie Williams in a coma Tiger can get one of those guys to carry his bag for a while. In the meantime they’ll be waiting for Jeff Pearlman’s new book to come out on tape.

Video via Orland Kurtenblog

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