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	<title>Kissing Suzy Kolber &#187; Contract Killing Sit-downs Gone Awry</title>
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		<title>&#8216;Just Make It Look Like An Accident&#8217;</title>
		<link>http://kissingsuzykolber.uproxx.com/2008/07/just-make-it-look-like-an-accident.html</link>
		<comments>http://kissingsuzykolber.uproxx.com/2008/07/just-make-it-look-like-an-accident.html#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 30 Jul 2008 13:32:24 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Monday Morning Punter</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Uncategorized]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Aaron Rodgers]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[bad MS Paint]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Contract Killing Sit-downs Gone Awry]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[FUCK YOU BRETT FAVRE]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Italian stereotypes]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[MMP]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[T.J. Houshmanzadeh]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[
FAT GUY IN TRACK SUIT [in booth eating pizza]: You Jimmy?

JIMMY: Yeah.
FAT GUY: Yeah, that&#8217;s some hat, kid. Ah, what the hey. Siddown, why doncha?
JIMMY: Thanks. [sits down]
FAT GUY: Here, have a slice. Four cheeses on this pie. Best in the state. Fuggetaboutit. Hey, Jimmy. Jimmy, don&#8217;t look so nervous, eh? Come on, Jimmy, have [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://kissingsuzykolber.uproxx.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/07/pizza-facade.jpg"><img class="size-full wp-image-2647 aligncenter" title="pizza-facade" src="http://cdn.ksk.uproxx.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/07/pizza-facade.jpg" alt="" width="500" height="375" /></a></p>
<p style="text-align: left;"><strong>FAT GUY IN TRACK SUIT [in booth eating pizza]:</strong> You Jimmy?</p>
<p style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://kissingsuzykolber.uproxx.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/07/aaron.jpg"><img class="size-full wp-image-2648 aligncenter" title="aaron" src="http://cdn.ksk.uproxx.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/07/aaron.jpg" alt="" width="297" height="350" /></a></p>
<p style="text-align: left;"><strong>JIMMY:</strong> Yeah.</p>
<p style="text-align: left;"><strong>FAT GUY:</strong> Yeah, that&#8217;s some hat, kid. Ah, what the hey. Siddown, why doncha?</p>
<p style="text-align: left;"><strong>JIMMY:</strong> Thanks. [sits down]</p>
<p style="text-align: left;"><strong>FAT GUY: </strong>Here, have a slice. Four cheeses on this pie. Best in the state. Fuggetaboutit. Hey, Jimmy. Jimmy, don&#8217;t look so nervous, eh? Come on, Jimmy, have a slice.</p>
<p style="text-align: left;"><strong>JIMMY:</strong> I&#8217;m alright. Thanks.</p>
<p style="text-align: left;"><strong>FAT GUY:</strong> So, uh, you need some taking care of someone in your organization? That&#8217;s what our mutual friend said to me. So who we lookin&#8217; at here?</p>
<p style="text-align: left;"><strong>JIMMY:</strong> So you guys? You, uh, k&#8211;</p>
<p style="text-align: left;"><strong>FAT GUY:</strong> Shhhshhh, Jimmy. Do me a favor and shuddafuggup, okay? We don&#8217;t use that word. We take care of people. You know, like an escort service. ONLY <em>THEY&#8217;RE </em>THE ONES THAT GET BLASTED!!! [slaps table] HAHAHAHAHA! HAHAHAHA!</p>
<p style="text-align: left;"><strong>JIMMY:</strong> Haha, yeah, that wasn&#8217;t really funny&#8230;</p>
<p style="text-align: left;"><strong>FAT GUY:</strong> I can see you&#8217;re really nervous, Jimmy. And let me tell you somethin, okay? Some people&#8230;they just deserve it. We don&#8217;t ask questions, we just make your life easier&#8230;for a price. Now come on, eat some pie.</p>
<p style="text-align: left;"><strong>JIMMY:</strong> No, really. I&#8217;m good.</p>
<p style="text-align: left;"><strong>FAT GUY:</strong> It&#8217;s delicious. Four cheeses.</p>
<p style="text-align: left;"><strong>JIMMY:</strong> No.</p>
<p style="text-align: left;"><strong>FAT GUY: [cocks gun under the table]</strong> Eat it.</p>
<p style="text-align: left;"><strong>[Jimmy takes a slice and eats it]</strong></p>
<p style="text-align: left;">Alright, alright, no more funny stuff. Down to business. So what&#8217;s the occasion? The UPS man fuckin&#8217; your wife? Somebody makin&#8217; trouble near yo&#8217; residence? Who&#8217;s the man o&#8217; the hour?</p>
<p style="text-align: left;"><strong>JIMMY: [pulls out photo]</strong> This guy&#8230;</p>
<p style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://kissingsuzykolber.uproxx.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/07/brett-favre.jpg"><img class="size-full wp-image-2646 aligncenter" title="Packers Favre Football" src="http://cdn.ksk.uproxx.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/07/brett-favre.jpg" alt="" width="500" height="457" /></a></p>
<p style="text-align: left;">
<p style="text-align: left;">
<p style="text-align: left;"><strong>FAT GUY:</strong> I see. Well, a person of this high profile is going to cost a little extra.</p>
<p style="text-align: left;"><strong>JIMMY:</strong> I don&#8217;t care. This might be the only way I, uh, I mean Aaron gets to play.</p>
<p style="text-align: left;"><strong>FAT GUY:</strong> Alright, the final price tag is gonna be&#8211;</p>
<p style="text-align: left;"><strong>[door flies open]</strong></p>
<p style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://kissingsuzykolber.uproxx.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/07/housh1.jpg"><img class="size-full wp-image-2649 aligncenter" title="housh1" src="http://cdn.ksk.uproxx.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/07/housh1.jpg" alt="" width="210" height="210" /></a></p>
<p style="text-align: left;"><strong>T. J. HOUSHMANZADEH:</strong> Hey.</p>
<p style="text-align: left;"><strong>FAT GUY:</strong> What the fuck do you want?</p>
<p style="text-align: left;"><strong>JIMMY:</strong> Get out of here!</p>
<p style="text-align: left;"><strong>T. J. HOUSHMANZADEH:</strong> Aaron Rodgers. You play for the Red Wings, right?</p>
<p style="text-align: left;"><strong>AARON RODGERS:</strong> No, I&#8217;m Jimmy. I&#8217;m&#8211;</p>
<p style="text-align: left;"><strong>T. J. HOUSHMANZADEH:</strong> Do you have anything to drink?</p>
<p style="text-align: left;"><strong>FAT GUY:</strong> I&#8217;m gettin&#8217; outta here. <strong>[gets up and leaves]</strong></p>
<p style="text-align: left;"><strong>AARON:</strong> Thanks a lot, you Persian fuck. I just went through all of this for nothing.</p>
<p style="text-align: left;">
<p style="text-align: left;"><strong>T. J. HOUSHMANZADEH:</strong> Okay, bye.</p>
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