“SMASH AND DASH” SMASHED, DASHED Chris Johnson put the kibosh on the tandem nickname he shares with LenWhale, because White got gravy stains all over it and stretched it out in the legs, leaving DeAngelo Williams and Jonathan Stewart to lay claim to the moniker contention-free. LenWhale’s cool with it so long as Ben & Jerry and Harry & David keep their bonds tight.

In other news, some stupid baseball player is stealing The Ben’s mojo. NEXT THING YOU TELL THE BEN HE GOT NEW CALL OF DUTY MAP PACK ON XBOX LIVE AND CAN ALREADY PEW PEW PEW BETTER!

FINALLY THERE IS COMIC WHO SPEAK MY LANGUAGE

THE LANGUAGE OF FROZEN CHOCOLATE SPANISH DELIGHT

IF YOU WERE A PLAYABLE CHARACTER IN CALL OF DUTY, I WOULD PLAY AS YOUR PLAYABLE CHARACTER

I STAND AND CLAP FOR YOU LIKE I DID FOR THE BRON-BRON

[Sticks fingers in mouth the try to whistle]

PFFFFFFFFTTTTTTTT

SINCE YOU ALREADY HAVE JERSEY, WE MAKE ROOM ON ROSTER FOR SIDELINE EMERGENCY QB/CHOCO TACO FUNNYMAN

MAYBE YOU USE EXTRA LARGE HAIRCUT TO HELP BLOCK KICKS

WHEN DONE BLOCKING KICKS, BACK TO CHOCO TACO JOKES

WE HAVE FRONT OFFICE PEOPLE WORK OUT THE TERMS

CLAPCLAPCLAPCLAPCLAPCLAPCLAPCLAPCLAP

Hines Ward: Rongrastname, why you standing and crapping at terevision?

Roethlisberger: [processes]

[processes]

[processes]

CRAPPING?

Hines Ward: Yes, you was just stand and crap.

Roethlisberger: [Processes]

[Processes]

HARF HARF HARF YOU IS ALL THE FUNNYMAN I NEED HINES