The Washington Redskins proudly boast one of the most visually appealing cheerleading squads in all of football, and as you can see they’re already in mid-season form. The squad has no shortage of uniform options, so head over to Ultimate Cheerleaders, look around, and vote for your favorite look (via Mr. I).

Elsewhere in the world of cheer, The League over at WaPo asks the (ridiculous) question “Should the NFL Get Rid of Cheerleaders?” Fortunately most of the panelists responded with an adamant “no”, including such notables as Dan Levy and the chick in our fantasy league who drafted Eli Manning three rounds too early.

Enjoy this bit of early sexiness, and brace yourselves for another fantastic Mailbag from the esteemed Mr. Ufford.

This week’s Sexy Friday was supposed to feature our second sexy slideshow set to go-go, but YouTube decided to shit all over my dreams because apparently uploading a 20 year-old song is a crime. So instead of some of the internet’s finest ass shots set to EU’s Da Butt we’ll have to settle for a pictorial featuring one of the NFL’s most adorable cheerleaders. Continue after the jump for more of Lilly Robbins.

Enjoy your Sexy Friday, readers.

Note: If you happen to know a way to upload Da Butt along with a couple of dozen pictures without YouTube being a cockblock feel free to get in touch with me @Unsilent (or via email).

Via Busted Coverage comes troubling news that the Philadelphia Eagle cheerleader auditions will only be open to those who have already graduated high school, most likely as a result of the Caitlin Davis saga that went down in New England last season. So now the Eagles will be forced to select this years cheerleaders from a crop of old dried up non-jailbait ass like this.

Oh Ea-Gals, I can’t stay mad at you. Continue after the jump for more from the ongoing pre-audition process. Man, that sounds exhaustive.

All images courtesy of PhiladelphiaEagles.com, check it out for more photos and some video.

Old people at a Dallas area nursing home were recently treated to a meet and greet with members of the world famous Dallas Cowboys cheerleading squad, ostensibly for the purpose of mocking their useless withered genitalia.

Continue after the jump for more images from the depressingly arousing gallery.

m

Star Community Newspapers via Busted Coverage

Welcome to another edition of Always Be Covering, the internet’s worst gambling advice column. Hopefully you’ve gathered by now that KSK isn’t in the “information” business. See what separates us from other gambling advice columns is that other gambling advice columns are gambling advice columns. Sure, sometimes my picks will be absolutely perfect, but then there are occasions like last week where I managed to go a staggering 0 for 7, which is kind of perfect in it’s own imperfect way. Regardless, I feel bad that I may have steered some of you in the wrong direction last week, so I’ll make my amends after the jump.

Before we get to the picks of the week, here’s one sexy Florida based cheerleader for each of the seven games I butchered last week…

Hopefully now we can all move on and enjoy another perfect week of picks. In order to ensure this, I’m putting all of my eggs in Peyton Manning’s bursa sac in what is surely the tastiest line of the weekend.

Indianapolis +3 at San Diego

Really? Yeah, I’ll fuck with that. Both teams have been crap against the spread, but at least the Colts are, you know, playing well and shit. Peyton finally looks healthy and Marvin Harrison might not be turning into football’s version of post-2002 Bernie Williams after all. Huzzah! Try not to be overly influenced by San Diego’s vaunted home field advantage or Marmalard’s epic arm strength (flooooat!), because the Chargers are one big bowl of suck. Rivers has tossed four interceptions in the past two games after throwing just four in the season’s first six weeks.

Okay fine, I don’t really know why the fuck I’m bothering with these retarded statistics, none of it fucking matters, no matter what your fancy record may indicate. What we know is that lines are based on how people will bet, and in general people are fucking stupid, especially the ones betting on football every week. So when in doubt I’m just going to put all of my money on the better team playing better football against a team coached by Norv Turner. I don’t need to follow some weak-ass scientific method to know how this is going to turn out. The Colts will probably make the spread moot by stomping the Chargers.

But what if they don’t? Well then you can expect some serious sexiness in this space next week, followed by my pleas for a quick cash loan.

Seriously though, can I borrow some money? It’s not like you need it, I mean how many copies of Men With Balls can one shut-in possibly read? Hey, you know what? I happen to have a few extra copies lying around. Maybe you’d like to purchase them from me directly for cents on the dollar. Sure they don’t have any “covers” on them, but shit, I need the money and you need to know how various athletes fuck. And hey, one of them is even autographed! Unfortunately it’s Drew’s signature instead of somebody, you know, important.

Int. FedEx Field, Pregame Warmups

BEN: PEW PEW PEW!

Chris Cooley: Hey Ben.

BEN: PEW PEW PEW!

Chris: HEY BEN!

BEN: OH HI I TRIED TO SEE YOUR DINGHY ON THE INTERCOMPUTBOX BUT NET NANNY SAID I WASNT ALLOWED

Chris: Don’t worry, you didn’t miss much.

BEN: PEW PEW PEW!

Chris: Ben? BEN!

Ben: WHATS UP CHRIS

Chris: What the hell are you doing?

BEN: PRACTICING CALL OF DUTY 4 IN MY HEAD TO STAY FOCUSED. HINES TOLD ME I NEED TO KEEP MY MIND ZEN BUT I DONT KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS SO IM KILLIN THE TURRURISTS.

Chris: Why aren’t you in the tunnel with the rest of your team?

BEN: GIRLS

Chris: You’re scared of girls?

BEN: NO STUPIDHEAD!

Chris: So what the hell are you talking about?

BEN: GIRLS DUMMY. YOU GUYS USE THEM TO DISTRACT ME. THEY STRETCH IN FRONT OF ME AND I GET A BOOM BOOM AND HINES TELLS ME I RACK DICIPRINE. LOOK AT THEM PLOTTING AGAINST ME OVER THERE

Chris: Jeez Ben, they’re just cheerleaders warming up for the game like the rest of us.

BEN: CHEERLEADERS ARE MY NUMBER ONE WEAKNESS. LIKE KRYPTONITE FOR SUPERMAN OR FELINE AIDS FOR CATWOMAN OR PENIS FOR THE ESCAPIST

Chris: Really? Like, you really can’t concentrate on the game with hot chicks standing around?

BEN: JUST THE CHEERLEADERS

Chris: [thinks to himself]

BEN: PEW PEW PEW

Chris: [thinks to himself]

BEN: PEW PEW PEW

Chris: [still thinking to himself]

BEN: PEW PEW PEW

Chris: Hey Ben, look over there!

BEN: HUH? WHERE?

BEN: NOOOOOO WHYD YOU DO THAT? NOW IM GONNA THROW A INNERSEPSHUN

Chris: Oh man, I’m sorry about that. I didn’t know you had such a serious problem with the appearance of attractive women. Say, have you ever met my wife?

BEN: NO

Chris: Oh well, I have these pictures of her that I keep in my compression shorts for good luck. You wanna see?

BEN: HARF HARF HARF OKAY

Chris: [hands Ben the first photo]

BEN: SHES PRETTY I BET SHE SMELLS GOOD AND HAS SOFT HAIR I LIKE SOFT HAIR BECAUSE IT REMINDS ME OF RABBITS

Chris: Yeah, she has really pretty hair. Hey, if you like hair, take a look at this other one. It’s from her old job.

BEN: HOLY CRUD SHES A CHEERLEADER! NOOOOOOOO

Chris: Oh god, I’m sorry Ben, I totally forgot about the cheerleader thing.

BEN: HINES IS GONNA BE MAD. ‘SPESHULY IF I RUN OUTTA BOUNDS TO SNIFF ANOTHER CHEERLEADER

Chris: I’m sure it’ll be okay.

BEN: I HAVE A BOOM BOOM IN MY PANTS

Chris: You don’t say. Hey look, is that Hines?

BEN: UHOHSPAGGETTIOS DOES HE LOOK MAD AT ME?

Chris: I don’t know Ben, why don’t you turn around and look for yourself.

BEN: OKAY BUT IF HES MAD YOU HAVE TO GO GET COACH BEFORE HE HURTS ME LIKE THE OTHERS [Ben turns around]

BEN: HARF HARF HARF HARF HARF HARF HARF HARF

Chris: Haha, you okay there Ben?

BEN: HARF HARF HARF HARF HARF HARF HARF HARF

Chris: Ben?

BEN: [faints]

Call me crazy, but I think I just may be betting on the Redskins again this week.

On to the picks!

Houston +4.5 at Minnesota

This completely goes against my policy of betting against Rolf the Nazi shark, but I have to hand it to the great white anti-semite on this one. And yes, I’ve watched exactly as many minutes of Texan football as Rolf this season.

Buffalo Bills -5½ vs. New York Jets

I’m just about done betting against the Bills at home, and on Brett Favre anywhere. So this is quite the serendipitous opportunity to get things rolling.

Tennessee -4.5 vs. Green Bay

The Titans are almost as great against the spread as they are straight up. They’ve won five in a row ATS, and I see no reason to stop betting on them this week. They’ve also gone over in four of their last five, but 41 is a pretty decent sized number for a team that doesn’t throw the ball more than five yards down field.

New England +6 at Indianapolis

Okay assholes, what the fuck is going on here? Somebody knows something that they aren’t telling me and I want to know what kind of shit they have on this game.

/checks injury report

Awwww, fuck.

But hey, at least the Pats are 3-10 ATS in their last 13 games.

God damn you Vegas, you’ve tricked me again with your flashy lines that seem nonsensical at first glance!