Another Firemas miracle! The Dolphins have canned Tony Sparano a day after transforming the best 4-8 team in history into just another terrible 4-9 team. That’s the nature of the business, I’m afraid. Another distressing trend in Firemas is teasing downtrodden fans with welcome firings, only to devastate them further with even worse replacements. Just as Chiefs fans must abandon all hope for years with the reports that Josh McDaniels will probably take over for Todd Haley, so too must Dolphins fans prepare their anus for the malevolent mastermindery of Carl Peterson as GM. The way things are going, the Chargers will finally ax Norv just to bring Martyball back.

This is why I think it’s best for the competitive interests of the game if we were to expand the playoff field to 28 teams. Now, I’m not saying this because the team I run, the Kansas City Chiefs, would qualify as the 28th seed in such a scenario. Far from it. Although we did have an EXCELLENT season given the circumstances. Don’t listen to the swarm of negativity out there, Commissioner. We have a great core of players, and I’m quite sure every personnel move I made was the exact right one and will be validated sometime within the next 37 years. No doubt about that.

No, I want to expand the field to 28 teams because it’s in the best interests of the fans. Haven’t Lion fans suffered long enough? 7-9 is a really good record for that team. They should be in. The Ravens nearly beat the Patriots! Are you telling me they don’t deserve a bid? That’s foolish. And what about the Falcons? After all they’ve been through? Surely they deserve a spot.

Now, not everyone should get into the playoffs. Like the Dolphins. Fuck them. Or the Rams. Fuck them. They totally suck. I’m all for only the elite teams making the postseason. And since I am among the elite general managers in all of sport, surely my team should be included as well. Doesn’t that make sense to you? WE HAVE JARED FUCKING ALLEN! THAT’S A PLAYOFF PLAYER RIGHT THERE!

I also think we should all get postseason bye weeks. Why should only the best teams get a week off? That’s an unfair competitive advantage. No, no, no. Everyone should get a week off. Then the top 4 teams get another bye, then the remaining 24 teams play each other. I think that’s really the best way to go. Though I think, given the Chiefs’ heritage and everything Lamar Hunt has done for the league, that perhaps we should receive one of those byes as well. Again, this is strictly in the interests of the fans. This is a better league when the Chiefs do well, even when they do not.

So let’s make that happen, Mr. Commissioner. Otherwise, I’ll have a hard time convincing people I’m not a complete fuckhead.