Every now and again, we at KSK stumble across something outside the realm of professional football that we feel compelled to share, such as Beaker’s adventures in the nation’s capital. Yesterday, when Unsilent Majority requested a Photoshop of a Nazi-fied Mr. Peanut for the Meast/Least, Christmas Ape obliged with the cheerful anthropomorphized fascist legume you see above. Just look at Nazi Peanut (full name: Stabgsefreiter Johann Erdnuss of the Fuhrer’s Wehrmact) — so dashing, so full of the joie-de-vivre that comes from the extermination of Jews to purify the Fatherland. How can he wear those jackboots and not dance a little jig?

So charmed were we with Herr Peanut that we captured some images of him hangin’ out with his pals, making the Third Reich a happier, more delicious place.

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Hey, who’s a gigantic tool?

THIS GUY.

For those of you who are late getting to the charitable party, the astoundingly generous KSK community raised $8,346 dollars for my participation in Fight Gone Bad IV, which just so happened to be the second-highest total of the 5000 CrossFit athletes who participated, an effort that helped FGB raise over $1 million for the Wounded Warrior Project and Athletes for a Cure. You are all to be commended and rewarded, and the only way that I can reward you is by offering up my sweaty, imperfect being for your satanically cruel scrutiny.

After the jump is my Fight Gone Bad experience in words and pictures, as promised. Be warned: male shirtlessness and vomit ensue.

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Gross! Drew’s kissing a cat!

Welcome to the Friday Five, our unimaginitively-named Friday afternoon post where we provide you with five things the KSK staff is looking forward to this coming weekend. Today’s sponsor is the recently discovered Gangsta Cat, aka Sebastian, the cat with gold teeth.

This week, we’re looking forward to…

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For those of you who may be wondering, we didn’t request your sex/fantasy football questions yesterday because we now get enough emails to power the mailbag without having to remind anyone. Oh my God! The mailbag — it’s self-sustaining!

Before we dive in, I’d like to offer up some fantasy talking points that stick out to me this week.

Trades: I’ve said in the past that we really don’t get a feeling for how the season is going to shape up until Week 4. Prior to that the sample size is just too small to figure out what’s a fluke and what’s a trend. So, unless you’ve lost a key starter for six weeks or more, I think it’s wise to hold off on making a trade until after this week’s games.

T.J. Houshmandzadeh: I was high on Housh before the season, believing that he’d bring his trend of 100-catch seasons to Seattle. While I still believe his numbers will improve in the coming weeks, it’s obvious that both Seneca Wallace and Matt Hasselbeck prefer targeting Nate Burleson. I apologize to anyone who listened to me. If it’s any consolation, I also suggested you draft Matt Schaub.

The Jets: The Jets’ defense will F your fantasy team right in the A. In the first three weeks, they completely shut down Matt Schaub, Andre Johnson, and Tom Brady, then held Chris Johnson under 100 yards rushing and without a touchdown. I’d never be so crazy to suggest benching Drew Brees this Sunday, but in the coming weeks be prepared for your players to struggle when they face Rex Ryan’s pussy-tubin’ crew.

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As Otto Man noted in the comments earlier, Julius Peppers’s freakishly huge grin is reminiscent of Soundgarden’s “Black Hole Sun” video. Oh ho ho, but there’s something creepier than the “Black Hole Sun” video…

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For this Very Special Finale of Sexy Friday, I thought we’d roll out the mysterious amateur web model that so many of you have admired a few times before. Below, see the full gallery of li’l miss Tits McGee, read how this came to be the final episode of Sexy Friday, and learn what brand new feature we’ll be introducing that could possibly replace attractive women.

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A couple recurring themes this week, in both the letters we answer and the multitudes upon multitudes we simply didn’t have room or time for. Primarily, fantasy owners are worried about the slow starts from Matt Forte and Steve Slaton, and a surprisingly high number of you don’t know if you should start Felix Jones even though Marion Barber pulled his quadriceps. Oh, and you all have messed up notions of what women should be willing to do in the bedroom, but that’s nothing new.

Let’s kick things off with an email that will make you feel better about your miserable life, shall we?

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“Hey, what’s goin’ on? … Me? Oh, not much. Just doing weighted squats with a kettlebell on the beach at sunset. Got some Uggs on ‘cuz it’s kinda cold.”

Well folks, although there’s still another week until Fight Gone Bad, but this post marks the end of our annual KSK Kares Kharity Drive. As I write this, we’ve raised $4,795 towards my goal of $5000, and so far your efforts have put me in 4th place in money raised to benefit the Wounded Warrior Project and Athletes for a Cure. That’s out of thousands and thousands of athletes competing.

If you’d like to help make a final push and help me attain (and exceed) my goal, please donate here. It’d be pretty cool to finish #1 overall and help out some veterans and cancer patients in the process. Otherwise, feel free to enjoy these lovely ladies of CrossFit.

UPDATE on the puking situation: For those of you who are donating only to see pictures of me vomiting, good news: I booted after a 2000-meter row last night. It doesn’t mean I’ll necessarily do it at FGB, but it’s certainly a good sign for you.

Apologies for yet another departure from the subject of football, but I wanted to say thank you to everyone who donated to my Fight Gone Bad effort to support wounded veterans and prostate cancer research. In the last 24 hours, KSK readers donated over $2000 to FGB IV, bringing my tally to over $4000 and guaranteeing you, the reader, four humiliating pictures of me looking ill while throwing a medicine ball or struggling to get 75 pounds overhead for the fortieth time.

Anyway, our most generous donations yesterday came from readers Ace Bandito of James W. Brown Animations and Mark Curtis. Mark deferred on the prize, so Ace is the proud owner of a pair of Oakley Gascans. And if you don’t think they’re cool, check out how awesome that dog looks. Congratulations to Ace, and thank you again to everyone who donated.

One final thing. The person who made the third-highest donation wrote something that impressed me even more than his generous gift, and I wanted to share it with you because he’s KSK’s de facto Nice Human being of the Week:

If my donation is in fact big enough to win the Oakleys, I ask that you keep my name anonymous on the site.  Being lauded for my “charitable magnanimity and general physical attractiveness” sounds pretty damn good  but this donation isn’t about me so I would appreciate you keeping me anonymous (and I’m not trying to sound presumptuous because here’s to hoping that someone else donates more than I do).  All that I ask is that you give a shout out to The Vikes and ND Football in some way if possible.  Not too much to ask, though I’m sure you’ll get some shit for anything regarding ND.  Thanks, and good luck at FGB.

No, it certainly isn’t too much to ask. See below.

You know, I very occasionally go to business meetings or blog-centric parties where people are always lauding blogs for their voices and praising the few of us professional bloggers while using words like “tastemakers” and “trailblazers,” and it always feels completely false, because I always keep blogs’ influence in perspective. The percentage of the American population that knows this site is preposterously small. Most of the people I’ve met in my life have no idea what I do or how I’m able to make a living off of it. Day-to-day life out in the real world makes the importance of a blog feel pretty small.

But then we ask you to help out for a cause, and you give us $4000 in the heart of a recession. It is absolutely humbling, and on behalf of Athletes for a Cure and the Wounded Warrior Project, I thank you for your support. I look forward to puking for you.

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I know you’re all focused on the new NFL season and busy trawling the waiver wire for fantasy pick-ups, but I wanted to briefly thank everyone who has donated to my participation in Fight Gone Bad IV, which benefits Athletes for a Cure and the Wounded Warrior Project (more on all that here).

Yesterday, KSK readers donated $615 to my fund, which currently stands at more than $1900. Unbeknownst to me, there was something called the FGB IV Home Stretch Challenge, and $615 was more than any other athlete raised yesterday, so I won said challenge. The prize: a pair of limited edition Oakley Gascan sunglasses. These are nice sunglasses. But I don’t deserve them; you do. (Besides, my charming translucent pallor prevents me from experiencing direct sunlight.)

Perhaps in a perfect world, I could break the sunglasses into scores of different-sized pieces and mail every donor a sunglass shard proportionate to their gift. Instead, let’s do this: make a donation, then forward me the email you receive confirming your donation (my email). The person who makes the largest donation between now and 5 p.m. Eastern tomorrow will be lauded on this blog for their charitable magnanimity and general physical attractiveness — and he or she will also be the proud new owner of a pair of limited edition Oakley Gascan sunglasses.

Also: consider this a reminder to send us questions for tomorrow’s sex/fantasy football mailbag. Naturally, we’ll favor submissions from people who have donated to FGB.