After the jump, Jackson’s Super Bowl halftime performance.
(Full disclosure: Ochocinco later recanted. I guess some people are still a little touchy about 9/11. But whatever, imagine if Bettie Page and Elvis died on the same day. As sad as the attack on Pearl Harbor, right? Hello?)
Eagle-eyed reader James sent along this winning picture of Giants RB Brandon Jacobs with a tasty piece of arm candy at a party two weeks ago. I was wondering who the woman was, so I consulted some friends with extensive knowledge of the hip-hop celebrity party scene. Their response:
“I think she’s what they call a groupie hoe.”
I certainly hope so, sir. Cheers to you, and may you say your t-shirt’s slogan in the style of Napoleon Dynamite. GOSH!
It’s been a little while since we picked on Josh McDaniels, so here ya go. This is a tribute to Broncos fans, as your anger at the organization keeps us warm and dry on rainy nights. It was either this or Things to Do in Denver When You’re Out of Playoff Contention.
We’re in the slowest stretch of the offseason now: the dreaded post-draft period. There’s no football on, and there won’t be football on for quite some time. You’re angry. You’re hateful. We understand. At KSK, we’re hateful too. Of all things, at all times. Hating is what we do best. So, in that spirit, we present you with the weekly off-topic/offseason feature…
Allow me to apologize in advance for the lack of venomous vulgarity in this week’s breakdown of Peter King’s reviled Monday Morning Quarterback column. Drew’s unavailable today, and while Princess Assloaf provides the usual amount of retardation today, I can’t help but soften my stance somewhat, given that King kindly filmed the above segment as the opener for Saturday’s Blogs with Balls conference, where Christmas Ape and I both appeared on panels to swear about how to “make it big” in blogging. Yes, do it right, and you, too, can barely eke out an existence! Join the movement!
After the jump, prepare to not talk about Favre (read: talk about Favre) and get informed with totally unbiased recommendations for summer reading!
I’ve always been amazed by humanity’s ravenous sexual appetite and the way it creates different twists on the good ol’ penis-in-the-vagina trick that’s always worked for me. But one little peccadillo like toe-sucking or anal sex is never enough. Oh no, we have to combine fetishes.
- “You know, bondage and sado-masochism isn’t really doing it for me any more — can I get this in interracial?”
- “This pregnant sex would be so much better if she were a redhead.”
- “Why do they have to be human corpses? Can I get some bestiality in my necrophilia?”
However, I find no combination as simple and satisfying as the Asian nurse. She’s sweet! She’s submissive! She’s sexy! She’s here to swab my urethra!
Below: many more pictures of Asian women in the medical industry their parents pressured them to join.
In this week’s draft, you’re choosing the funniest still images on the Internet. Photographs, LOL images, and Photoshops (like this one — hee hee!) are all fair game; the only restrictions are no animated .gifs and nothing NSFW.
In your comment, please leave a brief description of the picture and a link; we hope that will minimize careless repeats. After the jump comes my #1 pick; after your choice, please wait ten picks before selecting again.
In last week’s mailbag, one emailer faced the temptation of his brother’s wife’s advances, and promised to send KSK the nude picture that said siren used to tempt him. Since then, many commenters and emailers have wondered why we haven’t posted this picture, because, uh… we always post naked pictures of anonymous women? Oh wait, we never do that. Sorry, that picture is a perk for the KSK staff only.
And just between us, it is FANTASTIC. Suckas!
In this week’s bag, we dole out advice to a masochistic Seahawks fan — is there any other kind? — envy an Arizona grad with a sexy dilemma, and revisit our advice to virgins and people exploring the world of herpes-sex. All that and more after the jump. Take off your pants and join me, won’t you?
Today’s Big Deal on the Internet is Andressa Soares, who is known in her native Brazil as Mulher Melancia, which translates to “Watermelon Woman.” And, uh, it’s not because she likes eating watermelons. The entry that spawned today’s e-attention is her interview with Vice Magazine (side note: ugh). You can learn all about her professional booty dancing career over there; here, the pertinent information is that she was in Playboy and dear God I wanna touch it.
After the jump, enjoy our (technically) SFW gallery and NSFW links.
We’ve got a special treat today, readers. Not one, not two, but THREE emails about people who have survived into their mid-twenties with their virginity intact. I know what you’re thinking: Whoa! There are die-hard football fans who consult a toilet-humor blog for sex advice that AREN’T popular with the ladies? Welp, it’s true, and it’s all after the jump — along with quests for threesomes, foursomes, and getting gays to play for the other team. As usual, very few people display the ability to self-edit, plus there are about 80 questions about the Bears and Jay Cutler. Why? Because too often, Bears fans get left out of the discussion about which team has the most aggressive homers in the country. Ya wankers.
