Halloween falls on a Saturday this year, which is tremendous when coupled with the coinciding occurrence of Daylight Savings Time. That’s an extra hour to sleep off all the drinking de los muertes before preparing for a day of sports-related drinking. And we’re counting on Halloween to be good, knowing full well that Fox is preparing to unleash the goddamn Favre Cam on us the following day. Continuing what has become a yearly tradition for us, we’ve compiled a list of costumes for NFL figures. Do enjoy.

Wes Welker — Sandpaper

Julian Edelman — Slightly shittier version of whatever Welker’s costume is

Jim Mora Sr. — Robert Novak

Aaron Rodgers — Vampire goth

Jay Cutler — Goth vampire

Josh McDaniels — Nazi Belichick (will attend with Prince Harry)

Rex Ryan – A play sheet that simply reads “BLITZ” in huge letters.

Owen Schmitt — Stone Cold Steve Austin from Wrestlemania 13 (for 12th year in a row)

Ben Roethlisberger – Good Humor man (“SORRY I ATED ALL THE CHOCO TACOS.”)

Dan Snyder — Waring Hudsucker (the dead version)

Darren Sproles — Tinkerbell

James Harrison — James Harrison

Braylon Edwards — NOT LEBRON JAMES!

Brady Quinn — Harvey Milk

Redskins fans — Ravens fans

Eli Manning — “A cowboy! No, a fireman! No, an astronaut! No, a dinosaur!” “A firefighting space cowboy that also happens to be a dinosaur!”

JaMarcus Russell – Funny hat (actual costumes require too much effort)

Miles Austin — Baraka

Pierre Garcon — Waiter

Brett Favre — a kid

Peyton Manning — Billy Mays

Ed Reed — Hamburger Helper Glove

Peter King — Clint Eastwood (only to find out the Clint Eastwood costume is only available in New York and LA)

Peter King’s backup plan — A chemist

Marty B – Jason Whitlock

Jason Whitlock — An oozing pumpkin

Jeff Garcia — Certainly not Zorro!

Matt Schaub — Street clothes (so normal!)

Joey Porter — Huckleberry Hound

Limas Sweed — Basketball hoop

Chris Cooley — Jeff Reed

Jeff Reed — Naked

Philip Rivers — Balloon boy

William Gay — Doormat

Justin Fargas — Ghost pigeon

Tom Brady — Don Draper

LenDale White — Jose Cuervo

Calvin Johnson — Slutty Megatron

Darrius Heyward-Bey – Invisible man

Michael Crabtree — Darrius Heyward-Bey

He: (walks into my office without knocking, like an asshole) Hey [Punter],

Me: (actually trying to get some work done) Yeah? What’s up?

He: Settle this arguement Punjab and I were having. Punjab says Halloween is not an actual holiday and I say it is. What do you–

Me: Go punch the clown, Chad. Shithead.

He: No, seriously, it’s gotta be a real–

Me: Did we get the day off?

He: Uh…Well, no, but–

Me: Is this a day where it is socially permissible to consume alcohol as soon as I wake up?

He: (frustrated) No, but…

Me: But what, Chad?

He: …But we have the costume contest in the break room after lunch.

Me: Why don’t you and Punjab just skip the contest and consummate your relationship in the broom closet and maybe he’ll buy you that new iPhone you wanted.

He: (leaves)

Yeah, so unless you’re under 15 or someone close to you is sacrificing their abode for a midweek opportunity to get smashed, this day really has very little to offer you. I’ll be doing well to catch a peek of a slutty pirate making their way down Main Street. Henceforth, we present the Second Annual KSK Halloween Kostume Bukkake, where we pick the outfits that we’d have our (least) favorite NFL personalities wearing on All Hallow’s Eve. We’ll get you started–yes, we listed a couple guys twice–and we look forward to your contributions in the comments:

Chris Cooley (pictured)- Slutty Nurse

Norv Turner – Edward James Olmos

Joe Gibbs – Marty Schottenheimer

San Diego Chargers – New Orleans Saints

Orlando Pace – 1950 Ford Edsel

Reggie Wayne – Detective Ricardo Tubbs

Jeff Garcia – Templeton from Charlotte’s Web

Eli Manning – Peyton Manning

Archie Manning – Peyton Manning

Peyton Manning – Olivia Manning

Jeremy Shockey – Amy Winehouse

Chad Pennington – Reed Richards

Jim Sorgi – Matt Ufford

Bill Belichick – Allen Funt

Daniel Snyder – Frodo Baggins

Mike Holmgren – William Howard Taft

Quincy Carter – Eddie Murphy’s character from 48 Hours

T. J. Houshmanzadeh – Eddie Murphy’s character in Coming To America

Jeff Garcia – Eddie Murphy offering rides home for the “girls”

Ben Roethlisberger – Placido Polanco

Mike Ditka – Joseph Stalin

Brady Quinn – Sarah Jessica Parker

Julius Jones – Thing 2

Mike Vrabel – Jake Gyllenhaal

Jeff George – Uncle Rico from Napoleon Dynamite

Matt Leinart – Glenn Quagmire

Larry Fitzgerald – Matt Leinart

Roger Goodell – Richard M. Nixon

Gene Upshaw – Kunta Kinte

Jon Kitna – Larry The Cable Guy

Herm Edwards – Worf

Tom Coughlin – Tom Coughlin

Kellen Clements – Baby Jesus

Purple Jesus – A grape-flavored deity of his choice

Peter King – Deanna Favre

Chad Johnson — Keyshawn Johnson

Vinny Testeverde – A styrofoam cup in a landfill