For those of you who might be wondering, “Could the Seahawks have made Tony Romo look any better yesterday?” the answer is YES: they could still be starting Brian Russell at free safety. He’s too slow and too weak for the NFL, and I dare an NFL team to sign him and still finish the season .500. It can’t be done.

(via Field Gulls)

Longtime readers of this site know that I’ve always had a love-hate relationship with aging white safety Brian Russell — in that I would love it if he died, because I hate him. But ever since the gritty veteran (read: slow and talentless) got cut by the Seahawks, I no longer wish him death.

Instead, I want him signed on a week-to-week basis by whomever the Seahawks play on Sunday. The animated GIF above shows Russell in his new Jacksonville threads getting blown up by Justin Forsett, Seattle’s 5′8″, 194-pound third-string running back — possibly my favorite highlight in a 41-0 ass-stomping that involved four passing touchdowns, a defensive touchdown, and the self-bloodied visage of psycho hillbilly Owen Schmitt.

Delicious schadenfreude, or deliciousest schadenfreude? Oh, deliciousest for sure. Your failure sustains me, Russell.

[via Field Gulls]

The Seahawks cut useless-ass Brian Russell today to make room on their roster for Lawyer Milloy. The joy that this gives me is beyond measure. Two sacks and ONE interception in 32 games. As a FREE SAFETY. Good riddance to bad tackling, bad ball skills, bad physical ability, and late hits. I will hate you forever, jackass.

On the plus side for Russell, I no longer hope he gets cancer. I hope he gets playing time for the Cardinals.