Brandon Marshall: Aw damn damndamndamndamndamn! These Bob Ley, Josh Barr, Outside the Lines gotcha-reporters are trying to bring the hammer down on me, only cause I maybe roughed up my girlfriend, like, a couple dozen times. Like Larry Fitzgerald and Randy Moss never been accused of this! It’s practically a rite of passage for big play receivers. Plaxico beat on his girl a bunch and it wasn’t until he shot himself in the club that he got in trouble. Even bad receivers be gettin’ breaks. Matt Jones would have to chew off a baby’s head on camera before he gets suspended. And they’d probably only give him a game. Why are they all ganging up on me? Why am I always the victim?

You gotta help me out. How do I kick this? You been going through heat with this for months and you still got a career. Let’s get some advice, man. Anything.

(more…)

Brandon Marshall seems like a nice enough guy, and he probably has plenty of friends around the league. But after yesterday he might very well be the most popular player in the league amongst his colleagues. Because fuck, who doesn’t love a guy who not only talks back to Joey Porter, but one who undresses the big moufed asshole with such extraordinary precision.

“Joey Porter is one of those guys who, when you’ve got one of those guys that talk a lot of trash and just want to talk about people or put people down, they have their own insecurities. His insecurities, I don’t know, but he’s definitely one of those guys who, you know, all those muscles are popcorn muscles, he’s soft.”

Marshall went on to describe Porter’s bones as being “filled with marzipan” while his cartilage is “nothing but pretzels.” Of course the young wideout wasn’t done yet.

We hear stories floating around the league all the time about him you know, in night clubs dancing with his shirt off like a girl…

Whoa there, Brandon. I know taking your shirt off in the club is a pretty douchetastic move, but please, try to think of the feelings of others who will hear your words. Right now Vince Young is locked in the bathroom crying his eyes out into his Hello Kitty washcloth!