This would probably pass for hilarious in the Antarctic Circle; but seriously, if a couple of penguins can realize what a bad decision it was for the Cleveland Browns to sign Jake Delhomme, why couldn’t they? To be fair, when most of a typical day involves standing around in the snowy elements, that leaves a lot of time to think about other things. Like going out and buying a Ford Taurus, for example.

Mike Holmgren just made the biggest mistake of his life. The Cleveland Browns will never emerge from the dregs of the NFL until they learn how to properly handle a franchise quarterback. In what has to be the team’s worst move since they unceremoniously dropped Tim Couch, GM Mike Holmgren shipped former first round pick Brady Quinn to Denver for a fullback, a sixth rounder, and possibly a “conditional” pick. Travishamockery! Now I don’t know what a conditional pick is, but I do know good conditioning when I see it, and Quinn practically defines the word. [Nosebleeds (a blog that really seems to get it.]

There’s always a towering superstructure of fail to rummage through on any given gameday, but this Garo Yepremian-like fumble throw from Brady Quinn was a clear standout on this Sunday, at least until the Bears took the field, started running fake punts up the middle on 4th and 11 (only to challenge them), and generally having a pickerceptionkkake with a side entree of sulk.

The winners, however, they can’t help but exude a certain bravado (unless it’s Eli). Take Aaron Rodgers. Statistically, he didn’t have a particularly amazing game. But he whiped out Ken’s shoryuken after his winning TD pass to Greg Jennings. That’s enough to make you think to yourself that he deserved it all along.

Even if he was being rooted on by these mutants.

[Thanks to reader Rafael for the Rodgers gif]

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Brady Quinn’s questionable hand gestures. Cleveland’s quarterback competition is so intense that Brady Quinn has gone so far as to tell his team’s defense which play Derek Anderson’s offense will run during intra-squad scrimmages. That’s exactly the kind of questionable ethics Eric Mangini is looking for in a quarterback. [PFT]

Over the weekend Ohioans from all over the state descended on Cedar Point to enjoy the rides and take part in the celebration of Brady Quinn Day. For one special young lady the day provided an opportunity to stand by gasping for air while the love of her life walked past her. Fortunately the Sandusky Register was there to capture her reaction to such a thrilling close encounter.

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It is with heavy hearts that we bid farewell to Brady Quinn for the rest of the season. Cleveland’s quarterback has a broken index finger, an injury that’s been exacerbated by Quinn’s insistence on using said finger to stimulate his own prostate. Truly, a sad day for football fans everywhere.

Until next year, enjoy some “classic” Quinn.

Heeeeyyyyyyyy fellas, gonna check out my big coming out party this evening? It’s be there or be there with a bear. Much better than those spontaneous…things…that happened when the Barry won the White House. I’m still not ready to talk about it. A lot of pumpkin spice Blue Moons went into drowning out that sorrow.

That’s not even funny. I wasn’t for the Obama man. I was all about my homegirl Palin. Shit, Homegirl was gonna do it up right and spend half the treasury on interior design for the Naval Observatory. I could go for some navel observation myself. Ooooooooh. In-spir-RAY-tion!

I hope I don’t get tackled too rough now. It’d really scuff this argyle sweater Homegirl bought for me at Neiman Marcus. I better not have to give it back now that she lost. I already spilled seminal fluid all over it.

Who knows? Maybe if I do good we get one of those Super Bowl things people get all torqued up about.

So c’mon, Denver. It’s on like throbbing dong. You’ve already let a few offenses have their way with you, you little sluts. What’s one more reaming from Brady gonna hurt you?

I’m just so happy to be off the sideline. Everybody’s all Gloomy Guses over there, always complaining about when Romeo wastes timeouts and never in the mood for letting be Sasha Fierce. All’s I know is whatever that Super Bowl thing is, I’d be hard pressed to beat the bowl I already got.

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Here’s Brady Quinn wearing tights and practicing one of the many positions he is required to learn as an “open bottom” at the local steel mill’s weekend raves. Keep those hip UP, young man. It’s the only way you’re gonna be able to fit a industrial strength curling iron inside your body cavity.

Zak Keasey is drooling at his computer AS WE SPEAK.

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Image via Busted Coverage

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