There’s always a towering superstructure of fail to rummage through on any given gameday, but this Garo Yepremian-like fumble throw from Brady Quinn was a clear standout on this Sunday, at least until the Bears took the field, started running fake punts up the middle on 4th and 11 (only to challenge them), and generally having a pickerceptionkkake with a side entree of sulk.

The winners, however, they can’t help but exude a certain bravado (unless it’s Eli). Take Aaron Rodgers. Statistically, he didn’t have a particularly amazing game. But he whiped out Ken’s shoryuken after his winning TD pass to Greg Jennings. That’s enough to make you think to yourself that he deserved it all along.

Even if he was being rooted on by these mutants.

[Thanks to reader Rafael for the Rodgers gif]

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Brady Quinn’s questionable hand gestures. Cleveland’s quarterback competition is so intense that Brady Quinn has gone so far as to tell his team’s defense which play Derek Anderson’s offense will run during intra-squad scrimmages. That’s exactly the kind of questionable ethics Eric Mangini is looking for in a quarterback. [PFT]

Over the weekend Ohioans from all over the state descended on Cedar Point to enjoy the rides and take part in the celebration of Brady Quinn Day. For one special young lady the day provided an opportunity to stand by gasping for air while the love of her life walked past her. Fortunately the Sandusky Register was there to capture her reaction to such a thrilling close encounter.

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It is with heavy hearts that we bid farewell to Brady Quinn for the rest of the season. Cleveland’s quarterback has a broken index finger, an injury that’s been exacerbated by Quinn’s insistence on using said finger to stimulate his own prostate. Truly, a sad day for football fans everywhere.

Until next year, enjoy some “classic” Quinn.

Heeeeyyyyyyyy fellas, gonna check out my big coming out party this evening? It’s be there or be there with a bear. Much better than those spontaneous…things…that happened when the Barry won the White House. I’m still not ready to talk about it. A lot of pumpkin spice Blue Moons went into drowning out that sorrow.

That’s not even funny. I wasn’t for the Obama man. I was all about my homegirl Palin. Shit, Homegirl was gonna do it up right and spend half the treasury on interior design for the Naval Observatory. I could go for some navel observation myself. Ooooooooh. In-spir-RAY-tion!

I hope I don’t get tackled too rough now. It’d really scuff this argyle sweater Homegirl bought for me at Neiman Marcus. I better not have to give it back now that she lost. I already spilled seminal fluid all over it.

Who knows? Maybe if I do good we get one of those Super Bowl things people get all torqued up about.

So c’mon, Denver. It’s on like throbbing dong. You’ve already let a few offenses have their way with you, you little sluts. What’s one more reaming from Brady gonna hurt you?

I’m just so happy to be off the sideline. Everybody’s all Gloomy Guses over there, always complaining about when Romeo wastes timeouts and never in the mood for letting be Sasha Fierce. All’s I know is whatever that Super Bowl thing is, I’d be hard pressed to beat the bowl I already got.

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Here’s Brady Quinn wearing tights and practicing one of the many positions he is required to learn as an “open bottom” at the local steel mill’s weekend raves. Keep those hip UP, young man. It’s the only way you’re gonna be able to fit a industrial strength curling iron inside your body cavity.

Zak Keasey is drooling at his computer AS WE SPEAK.

e-Mancipate Link

Image via Busted Coverage

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Brady Quinn’s picture is being used without his permission in online advertisements for gay dating web sites. [Aside: If that was the gayest picture they could find, they obviously weren't looking very hard.] While gossip site TMZ may consider this tidbit to be an exclusive, similar news could be found here on KSK and elsewhere weeks ago.

Hey TMZ, if you want to “borrow” some more “exclusives” from sports blogs. I would suggest the following which concerns another sexy quarterback. Trust me, your readers will love this…

[ thx to MC Bias for reading TMZ so I don't have to ]

Ads like this one have popped up on Facebook recently. Looks like some unscrupulous advertiser is using Brady Quinn’s image without his consent– or not. Maybe he is getting a piece of the action. If so, good for him.

[ HT: Jock Talk Blog ]

When Quinn walked into the green room for the NFL Draft last April, he probably thought he was going to be a top ten pick, maybe even go number one. But he didn’t, as you’ll recall. He went 22nd.

When Charlie Frye shit the bed in Week One, Quinn thought he was probably going to get a huge bump in playing time, maybe even start a few games in his rookie season. But he didn’t. Derek Anderson jumped in and set the NFL ablaze, jump-starting the Browns to a 10-win season, and probably saving Battletoad Crennel’s job in the process.

And when Horse Balls finally got paid in free agency, with guaranteed money nearly double what Quinn is slated to earn, one would suspect that the Columbus, Ohio native had finally learned his place in the League.

Yeah, not so much. He’s expecting an open competition in training camp.

“My whole goal is preparing myself and getting ready to try to take over the starting job and lead this team,” Quinn said Saturday during [sexual intercourse with two other men, three underage boys, and a dalmatian for] an appearance at an auto show.

Browns GM Phil Savage, who’s like Ozzie Newsome, except he’s white and never played in the league, and a lot younger, has Anderson locked in as the starter:

“When you sign a contract like we did with Derek, I don’t think there’s going to be an ‘open [rest stop exit for homosexual athletes to engage in any sort of] competition’,” Browns general manager Phil Savage said. “We go in with Derek as the lead horse. You don’t sign a contract like that and say, ‘hey, it’s an open competition’.”

However, Coach Crennel is insinuating that Brady Lite will get a look:

“You have to [have the occasional sphincter stretching if you expect to get better as a football team or they're gonna bring in some damn white boy to] compete for your job. That’s the same at the quarterback spot [where we have a nice dichotomy between super-masculine and downright Nancified, and then a third guy who I don't know much about]. Both of those guys [and that one girl from Notre Dame] are going to compete and then we’ll see who gives us the best chance. We’ve always done it that way and that’s what we’re going to do [right after I polish off this rack of ribs, some baked beans, slaw, brisket, pork tenderloin and extra-large Barqs root beer. Holy shit, I love root beer].”

I’ll never understand coachspeak.