When we last left car-shunning douchebottle Peter King, he was proudly declaring Yogi Berra the greatest baseball player alive, still agog that you people living in cities NEVER TOLD HIM JUST HOW WONDERFUL LIVING IN A CITY CAN BE, and bragging about leaving his car unattended despite promising readers he would stop doing so. But then how would I know if he beat his personal record of 11 days without driving?!

But before we get into this week’s batch of King-approved tard scraps, a very brief detour. Or should I say… tweetour? Huh? Huh?

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